Two different lifes
by MerlinNo1
Summary: Everything starts with the dark Lords death and a fateful meeting. If things had been different in Lord Voldemort's life, what would have changed? Could anything be changed at all? And what -or who- could cause this change? Interested to find out? So why don't you join in? Will contain Voldemort/Severus later on. Warning: Long story. Rated M for later chapters.
1. A most fateful meeting

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Summary: Everything starts with the dark Lords death and a fateful meeting. If things had been different in his life, what would have changed? Could anything be changed at all? And what -or who- could cause this change? Interested to find out? So why don't you join in?

Will contain Voldemort/Severus later on. Warning: Long story.

Another warning: English is not my mother language. I will try my very best but if anything is simply not readable or understandable, just ask.

Prequel: A most fateful meeting

The rebounding killing curse hit Lord Voldemort and his lifeless body hit the floor, the white hands empty, dead.

And then there was silence.

Darkness engulfed the slim figure, which seemed to twist and change shape rather quickly. Half hidden in the kind darkness it sunk to the size of a small child with haggard limps bend horribly in strange directions. But the being did not seem to feel this change, nor would it have cared any longer. Although it has always known fear in his life – especially the fear of dying- there was nothing of this particular emotion in his calm mind now.

There was nothing.

For dying was simply done. All that was left now was death.

Or was it?

A tiny light started to glow from the inside of this strange broken thing that had once been... someone. It did not remember. The small red flame flickered slightly and danced in a rhythm only itself knew. For there was no sound to be heard. The darkness seemed to press against the tiny light as if wanting to suffocate it. But the flame was persistent. Truly there must be something it could do. If it only could remember how or more important, why. The red flames licked angrily on the pale skin of the shrunken body.

There mus be something, anything.

That cant be the end!

Not like this! Not this simple!

Gone like any other! Gone like countless souls before him!

No. He refused to!

For a short moment- the length of a heartbeat maybe- the red light seemed to explode and the darkness fled like a shadowy animal.

Right in the same moment, the same heartbeat a man rose from an icy cold ground, ruffling his black hair and freeing some already melting snowflakes from it.

He was panting heavily trying to steady himself by leaning against a huge white stone behind him. His red eyes seemed to shine even brighter than his white skin as he looked around taking in his surroundings.

It was a place he knew, of that he was certain. But it looked twisted somehow.

The air descending from the earth was hot, but the ground itself was, as he already had experienced, deadly cold. The black grass was frozen and sharp like small daggers. He tried to look up in the sky but instantly had to shield his eyes from the brightness. The red and yellow sky seemed ablaze. At the darkening horizon he could glimpse some fluffy red clouds. He squinted. It seemed as though it was raining there. Raining... bloody red rain. Even the land glowed in a wet red.

What a strange sky. It was too bright to look up but the light barely touched the ground. Down here, it seemed to be in the middle of the night.

The wind blew through his black robe carrying whispered words to his ears. What was that? He looked in the directing the wind came from. It was only then he noticed the huge, old manor. He remembered it. But this time it did not seem haunted or neglected like last time he had visited it. The garden was well groomed and the house looked occupied. A bright green light shone through the windows enlighting the alleyw to the huge wooden front door.

Just when he wanted to approach the old house he saw a movement in the corner of his eyes and spun around, realising for the first time how tense he really was.

There was an old stone right in front of him. Had it been there before?

A huge winged skeleton stature in a black robe carved of stone was standing right beside it, stretching one wing protectively over the gravestone. He was holding an abnormally large scythe in his right hand while its black eye-sockets stared directly into the red eyes of the black haired man.

And suddenly he knew this was not only the grave of his father. It was his as well. His bones, the same as his fathers. His body, never truly his since... that day.

Despite knowing it, he was not able to resist the urge to actually read the letters carved in the stone.

For the last enemy that shall be defeated is death.

Tom Marvolo Riddle

May you never attain what you seek in life.

May you ever attain what you find in death.

A shadow appeared over the writing and the man, once named but barely known as Tom Marvolo Riddle froze. He did not turn because he knew what was behind him. He knew the angel of death has moved from its socket, knew it was bringing the scythe up, knew it would swing it down any moment now.

Blinding green light flooded the graveyard while a high pitched laughter echoed through the air.

A laughter just like his own.

He could not stay here. He had to move. If he stayed...

He ran down the alleyway to the old manor. The frozen grass cut deep though his naked feet and legs causing him to leave a bloody trail behind him glimmering wet in the green light.

If he had not run straight through the front door, he might have seen the black letters on the richly carved wood indicating that this house should not be entered under any circumstances. And if you do, death will await you.

The door closed behind the panting man.

Trying to calm his nerves he looked around the room. The first thing he saw was a neatly decorated table in the middle. Dinner was set for two and he could smell baked fish. A lively fire was merrily crackling in the fireplace to his left where a couch and a pair of comfortable looking armchairs stood. Some candles on the table bathed the scene in a soothing light and it looked just as someone had lighted them a moment ago. Steam rose from the dishes on the middle of the table. He approached the table, still nervously glancing around.

He remembered this place too. Only last time he had been here, which was the only time at all, the table had been set for four. There had been four peoples too when he had arrived the first time and four dead bodies when he had left the place again.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it?"

This voice. Where had he heard this voice before? He turned around slowly.

In the armchair to his left sat a person with black hair like his. Green eyes fixed the red ones which had been the same green a long time ago. The older man with the handsome face rose gracefully from the chair and Tom Riddle Senior bowed slightly, his nightgown ruffled by the movement.

"Ah, it was a nice evening just like this one, when you killed me and my family, my sweet son, wasn't it?"

The younger Riddle stood still as a stature:" What do you want?"

"Well", said the other man waving his hand to the table,"last time you visited I forgot my manners and missed inviting you for dinner, didn't I?"

"I decline."

A smile appeared on the other man's face: " Oh. But I must insist. You are my beloved son after all. Would you like to drink a sweet red? I always preferred the sweet ones, didn't I? I still wonder how I ended up with your mother, don't I?"

"I couldn't care less of what you prefer or not.", he searched his pocket for his wand. But there was nothing in them.

"Don't be so rude, son. I never taught you such ugly manners. Besides, you can stop searching for this stick of yours. You already showed it to me the last time you visited and it left quite the impression on me and the rest of my family, didn't it? Anyhow, I am sure such a thing is not able to follow you to this place, aren't it? Now take a seat if you please. I have important matters to discuss with you, haven't I?"

In the same moment he looked at his son and their eyes met again an invisible force pulled the younger one to the chair on the other side of the table where the second set of dishes was set.

The red eyes showed confusion when he retorted: "Don't call me your son, you filthy muggle."

But the other one just waved at him: " Yes, yes. And you are the most powerful dead wizard in this room, aren't you? Would you like some potatoes, oh mighty Dark Lord?"

And with a wave of his hand a bowl with steaming golden potatoes rose from the table and floated to the Dark Lord, whose wide eyes weren't even blinking as he studied the man who said was his father.

"Who are you really?"

"Pardon me?"

Slamming his fist down on the table and causing some potatoes to roll from his plate he screamed at the other one: " Tell me who you really are right now!"

But the older one remained calm, watching the wine bottle filling its red liquid into two glasses.

"Manners, my boy, manners. I am, who I said I am, am I not? You just changed everything around here. Don't you remember? After all, it was you who split his own soul, ripped everything in it completely apart and distorted every rule there is or more likely, was. Not that your soul was normal from the beginning, wasn't it? But I shouldn't blame you for the madness caused by … ah … let's say, special circumstances by your procreation, shouldn't I?"

"What?"

For the first time the older man seemed nervous: " Well... a love potion such as the one your mother used has some side effects. Basically the one, that the child coming from such a... well... it won't be able to love and … most likely will go mad. Like you did, didn't you? I honestly regret this, don't I?"

" I am not mad!", he was thinking about leaving this place but the magic the other one used – magic without using a wand- intrigued him. Especially since he knew that he must be someone else and he, Lord Voldemort was determined to find out who.

"Its all right, really. I mean, I wasn't the best father either, was I?"

"I never wanted you to be a father!"

"I figured that much, didn't I? But lets talk about more important stuff. Like your death. How was it? Are you satisfied with how your life turned out to be?"

An icy glare was the only response he got. Obviously feeling content with his questions, the father spooned some fish into his mouth:" You should eat something, shouldn't you? You are far too thin. Stressed out, aren't you?"

"Does it matter?", retorted an angry voice.

"Nope. I just wanted to improve your mood by showing some fatherly care, didn't I"

"Come to the point."

"You should really test the wine, my boy. It tastes like life. Oups, that's not what you wanted to hear, didn't you?"

"That's it.", the younger one rose, "I am going to leave right now."

Surprisingly the other one chuckled and when he spoke his voice sounded different somehow:" Do you really want to decline the only chance to live again? To smooth your errors out?"

Voldemort spun around and looked at the other man, disbelieving.

"You heard right. There is a chance for you to go back. Only to a certain point of course and live onward from there on."

"How?"

"You ask how? That is the wrong question. I might only be a messenger but life or death does not matter for me. I can bring both to anyone anytime. Your question should be: why."

He stared at the other man who still wore the mask of the old Riddle but made perfectly clear that he was not him. The room was completely silent.

After a while Lord Voldemort straightened himself up and asked the most important question in his life and death: "Why?"

The other one grinned showing bloody red teeth: "Because I want to."

Red fire burst through the fireplace wrapping the younger man up again while everything around him burned down.

_I hope this wasn't too messed up for the first chapter. But to be honest. Voldemort's mind is messed up and since this chapter takes place inside his soul it had to be messy. _

_I am still sorry for it. Hope you will enjoy the next chapters._

_Besides, comments would be nice._


	2. Magic is in the house

Disclaimer: still don't own anything.

Summary: Severus first unintentionally use of magic did not lead to what he hoped it would. Instead it turned out to be a nightmare.

Another warning: Chapter contains harsh words and abuse.

Also, I think I might have tempered with the compound tenses here. Hope it is still readable.:)

Chapter 1: Magic is in the house

A loud bang echoed through the small and shabby looking house standing in a gloomy street where even the streetlights emitted a hostile aura. Rain was drumming mercilessly on the small attic window of the grey-green house encouraging the nightly disturbance.

A second bang followed suit accompanied by the desperate scream of a woman and the angry shouts of a man.

If someone cared to listen hard enough he might have heard a whimper that could have come from a small boy.

A small boy with messy black hair that fell to his shoulders. He pressed his hands forcefully on his ears as though he wanted to lock the voices out. His pitch black eye pressed shut, he sat in the corner of the dusty attic right under the window which was the only light source in the room. The boy flinched hard and gave a whimper when the third bang rang through the room, coming from the trapdoor on the other side of the attic. He tried to scramble in the small corner behind him, nervously listening to the voices downstairs.

"I am going to kill him!"

"Please, Tobias! Please! He didn't do it on purpose! He didn't! He never did it before! I beg you! Please! He is only a child!"

The voice belonging to the man named Tobias sounded mad with rage:"I don't care! He is a freak! A damn freak like you are! Let go of me you ugly witch! This monster will get what he deserves! Try to stop me and you can join him!"

"He is your son! Please, Tobias! You are drunk! You don't know what you do! Stop it! He is our child!"

A sound like someone had been slapped was heard. Right after it the woman sobbed.

"You dare name this... this THING my son!? How dare you filthy bitch! How dare you ever lie to me about what you are! How dare you! Dammit! You said he will be normal, he will be human! This damn devil's spawn! Screw you!"

More slapping sounds were heard as the sobbing of the woman crew louder occasionally drowned by Tobias' furious shouting.

The boy on the attic shook with silent cries. He did not dare to make any sound, did not dare to move even a finger. At least the banging on the trapdoor had stopped. But it did not ease his nerves because he was right aware of the scene downstairs. He could practically see how his father constantly beat his mother Eileen. She had tried to protect him. Of what would have been if she hadn't done it, he did not dare to imagine.

What had he done? He did not know what had caused this. He only wanted to show his father what he could do. He thought he would be amazed and maybe even proud.

A few hours before, Tobias had been watching a football game on TV like he always used to do on a saturday evening. Normally, his son Severus joined him, sharing his father's passion for this sport. But not this evening. He had been in his parents room trying to fix his fathers old football trophies from high-school. Tobias had shown it to him a day before, proudly telling his child how good a player he had been and that Severus will one day succeed or even surpass him. The six year old boy was so eager to show his father how much he treasured his trust in him that he had decided to repair the old trophies.

The task had been easier than he had thought at first. Sneaking upstairs with the old toolbox from the garage, he settled on the carped, carefully handling his fathers treasures. It took him only a minute to repair the first one and it looked like it was new. He sat there for another ten minutes cleaning as well as repairing some medals and practically feeling the old fabric of the old jersey knitting itself back together under his fingers. He was really proud and excited, wanting to show his father the surprise soon.

He had been so entitled in his work that he did not hear his father entering the room. That is why he missed the change of expression on the man's face.

First he looked curious of what his son had been doing, shortly followed by an expression of love and care when he saw his son carefully handling his belongings. But as he kept watching his son, his face contorted into a mask of horror and disgust.

That was the time the shouting started and then the beating. His mother had rushed up the stairs after the first shouts and he used the diversion to duck under his fathers swung fist. Running to the attic. The place he always used to hide if he got upset

His cheek was still hurting from the first blow he received. The first one ever. But what had hurt the most was the look of hatred on his fathers face. He sniffed, shivering from the cold, he looked around trying to find anything to protect himself from the nightly air. The whining and beating downstairs had stopped and no other sound except the constant drumm-drumm of the rain was heard.

Not finding anything he rolled up into a tight ball and watched the now slightly brighter sky. It must be near sunrise. Drying his tears on his shirt the boy rolled over and fell asleep, exhausted.

He woke up about 3 hours later. His small body hurt and it took him a while to find out, where he was. Tears filling his eyes when he finally remembered.

Listening nervously he heard no sounds from downstairs. Carefully he got up and went to the trapdoor unlocking it with a loud creak of the rusty metal.

He descended downstairs, always ready to run by the slightest movement. After he had sneaked into his room, he changed into warmer and clean clothes, checking his appearance in the mirror on his wardrobe only to flinch back at the sight of his own reflection. His left cheek was swollen and red. Even his eye was only half open because of the swelling. That explained the pain at least. Biting down on his lip to prevent himself from sobbing again he left the room and went to the kitchen.

He was pretty sure his parents weren't there or were still sleeping. That was why he got frightened when he saw someone moving near the stove.

"So, you are awake.", his mother did not turn around while she handled two pans simultaneously. It smelled like scrambled eggs. Suddenly Severus stomach began to ache with hunger. He drew nearer, wanting to savor the tasty scent. Only then did he realize the red bruises on his mothers arms and her shaking hands.

"Mommy..?"

"Not now. I have to make a good breakfast for Tobias. He is still very angry at your misbehaving yesterday. You were very bad." Her voice sounded so strange, so unlike her.

"I was... bad?", he could not belief what he was hearing. He still could not understand what he had done wrong. Had he really been this bad? Was he not allowed to touch his fathers trophies?

Of course! That mus be it. That was the reason why he had been so mad. Maybe he had broken something and had not realized it. He will apologize to his Daddy and everything will be fine. His father will laugh at him and ruffle his hair like he always did and then they will go outside and play football and his Mommy will bring them warm slices of freshly baked apple pie like she did last week.

Smiling he offered:" I'll bring him breakfast and apologize, mommy. I'll be good now!"

She spun around, suddenly screaming at him, her face swollen and covered in bruises: "You will never be good! Look what he did to me all because of you! Look what your evil doing did to me! He is right! He is always right! You are a monster! Hurting your own mother!"

In fear he tried to move backwards but fell over a kitchen chair and landed hard on the floor. He had never seen his mommy like this. His mommy had always been kind to him. His Mommy...

What was wrong with his mommy?

Did he really hurt her?

What had he done?

How?

Was he really a monster?

Not being able to hold back the tears once again he cried: "Mommy, I'm so sorry. I really am. Don't be mad. I'll be good now. I promise."

"You promise!? You! You liar! Out! Get out! I don't want you in here! Tobias is right! GET OUT!"

With the last words she threw an egg after the crying small boy, missing only by inches. The child was getting at his feet as fast as he could. Shocked he ran to the door as his mothers voice rang in his ears: "NOW YOU WOKE HIM! YOU WOKE HIM! YOU FILTHY CREATURE! NEVER CALL ME YOUR MOTHER EVER AGAIN! YOU ARE NOT MY CHILD! MONSTER!"

Pressing his hands to his ears once more he ran as though his life depended on it. His small bare feet seem to fly over the cold sidewalk. He did not see where he ran to because his vision was so blurry from his tears. But it did not matter anyway.

_Poor Severus. But I actually think something like this could have happened in cannon. After all he never cared for his appearance what is typical for abused or traumatized children as well as the opposite around. Maybe his self-loathing had his roots in his childhood. It could explain why he loved Lilly since his childhood. She was called a freak like he was and she never blamed him for having this talents. She actually loved to play with magic. Maybe she was the only person he had felt love from and loved her dearly in return._

_Of course I am a little bit mean to him in this chapter. But he is strong and will get over it._

_Fun fact: my writing program knows the names Severus Snape and Voldemort but does not know the names Eileen or Tobias. I think a HP-addicted person programmed it._


	3. Before the request

Disclaimer: still don't own anything.

Summary: The dark Lord visits his old school. Date: 7th of August 1966.

Warnings: Dancing trolls ahead. (In other words: nothing special.)

Chapter 2: Before the request

The bells of the wall clock rang six times waking the man on the huge bed in the corner of the dark room.

It was damp and cool in there because the windows had been open the whole night during the storm. A withe hand appeared under the bed sheets holding a wooden stick. The pale hand seemed to glow in the twilight. It pointed the piece of wood on a dark damp fireplace and waved.

A crackling fire sprang to life in the old chimney just like it had been burning there for hours. The room became warm, bright and cozy only with the flick of the wand in the ebony colored hand.

A wand it must be, for it had produced magic.

It was nearly as white as the hand holding it. Although it was made of yew it looked suspiciously like bone.

A ruffle went through the sheets and a tall slim figure with black hair rose from the bed. His eyes glimmering red. He yawned.

What had he dreamed of this night? He knew it was a really strange dream. It had something to do with the Riddle manor and the Muggles he had killed there years ago. But what was it? He could not shake off the feeling that it had been important.

He shook his head.

Something important in a dream? What a stupid thought was that? So unlike him.

He got up. Done with thinking of stupid dreams, he focused his mind on more important matters, whilst he walked into the bathroom.

An hour later Voldemort had showered and eaten, ready to start a new day. Not thinking of any Muggle's houses or dreams anymore, he sat on the kitchen table, sipping the last bits of his coffee and reading the latest news in the "Daily Prophet". His thought wandering to the appointment he is going to attend today, which was in fact so important that he did feel a little bit nervous.

When the clock stroke eight times. Voldemort left through the entrance door and simply vanished into thin air.

Nearly at the same time he appeared out of nowhere in a street right before a shabby looking tavern. But he did not look at the house in front of him. His eyes were fixed upon a castle at the horizon, barely seen through the morning fog.

Finally he was here. Finally he was back. After all this time. A small smile appeared on his lips.

"My Lord, we have waited for you."

A blond haired young man waved at him and bowed slightly in respect.

"Ah. Good morning Avery. Are all here yet?

"All except Mulciber. He is running late again, I'm afraid." The man on the door looked down nervously.

Voldemort chuckled. Knowing fully well that the other one feared some kind of an outburst. But he was in a good mood today. So why not let it slip now. Mulciber will be sorry by the time he hears that his Lord had gotten what he tried to achieve since they all had left the school a long time ago. Smiling down on the other man, he entered the pub, patting him on the shoulder as he passed by, feeling with glee the flinch from the other man caused by his touch. "It's all right. I will speak to him later."

He looked around and saw his other three old schoolmates sitting at one of the round tables in the corner. When they spotted him, they all stood up and bowed simultaneously. The look in their eyes the same as it had been years before, a mixture of fear and admiration.

He strode to them and with a fluid movement set next to a bearded man whose black curls nearly reached his shoulders.

"It has been a while since we all sat together, my friends. Well? What news do you bring me?"

"My Lord,", the man with the curly hair beside him began: "I heard that on next Monday, Dumbledore will announce in the "Daily Prophet" that the post of the defense against the dark arts teacher as well as the post of the care of magical creatures teacher are both vacant."

Voldemort raised an eyebrow: "Care of magical creatures too?".

The other one lowered his gaze in respect:"Yes. Mr. Mandrake, the former teacher, had a little accident in India involving two mating dragons. I heard, he is still in St. Hildegard in Mumbai and will not return for the next school year."

"I see.", Voldemort mused.

A man with short red hair cleared his throat and the dark Lord fixed his gaze on him, watching the other man nervously drinking a sip of his butter beer with shaking hands.

The red eyes sparkled whilst his mouth curled into a grin, being aware of the impact this expression had, he asked: "Yes, Dolohov?"

The other one wiped the froth from his also red mustache:" My Lord, is it really necessary..., I mean... You are much better than every teacher there. You could be so much more. My Lord, a teacher, that is beneath you."

"So? Is it?", he smiled and waited. His gaze upon the redhead, he drew his wand, watching the eyes of the other one grew wide with horror. He started to inspect his wand, savoring the aura of fear coming from the other four men.

"Yes. Of course you are right, Dolohov. But there are important reasons. Reasons I need you- you all- to understand." He flicked his wand, causing the latter to flinch, who gasped for air and desperately grabbed at his throat: "As you all know, my friends, I intend to change the wizarding world and for that, I need men. Strong, intelligent young witches and wizards who are willing to dedicate their lives to this cause, like all of you did."

He watched Dolohov's face growing redder and redder. He waited for another five seconds, observing the struggling man, before he flicked his wand again, allowing the redhead to breath again.

"I also hope, they do use their brain more often than you do, Dolohov. It is not that you are dump, it is just that you do not think enough before you talk. A habit I wish you to change. It would be for your own good, don't you agree, my friend?"

Well, Dolohov was pretty dump. But he could not complain. You cannot expect to have the best men on your side from the beginning.

The other three laughed at the punishment of their companion. They were just as dump.

Maybe Lestrange was not, at least he was talented in gathering information.

Still gasping for air, the redhead answered in a humble voice:" Yes, my Lord, thank you for your advice, my Lord."

Rolling his eyes, Voldemort stood up. "I will go now. It is almost time."

The other four nodded, not daring to tell him that he had nearly two hours left until his interview with Dumbledore.

But there was something else on his mind too.

When he walked the old path up to the school, his mind wandered off to the halls and corridors he knew so well, up and up the staircases to the seventh floor. There, right in front of the stature of an old fool -he did not care to remember his name- lay his goal: the room of requirement. He put his hand into his robe, searching for the pocket containing the precious item he intended to hide there. He would never tell anyone about it. Not that he wanted to.

It was his fifth horcrux.

The making of this one had cost him a lot of energy. Why has it become harder to create them? Maybe he had created too many in too short a time? That could be the reason why he had felt so weak for nearly 6 months now. Strangely, when he had woken up earlier this morning, he had felt a lot stronger. His soul must have accepted his new status at last.

He looked up and came to a halt. The joy he felt rising in his chest was unlike anything he had felt in the last 20 years. He was finally home. He allowed himself to stand there for a few minutes taking in the sights and just feeling like his old self again.

His mood could not be better when he finally entered the impressive castle.

He walked the path to his destination, knowing the way as though it had only been yesterday that he had walked those halls. But he knew, even after a hundred or a thousand years, he will know every corner of this place, from the highest tower to the deepest and most secret dungeons.

He passed the place in front of a stature of an old mad looking wizard with three trolls in small skirts three times, whilst focusing his thoughts on one sentence:

_I need a place to hide this object. I need a place to hide this object. I need a place to hide this object._

When he stopped, a door was where there had been a solid wall seconds ago and the tall black haired man entered without hesitation.

It took about ten minutes and the door opened again. Wearing a content smile, Lord Voldemort left the room of requirement and went down the hallway without glancing back once again. Not seeing the door vanish again.

The stature of Barnabas the Barmy blinked and looked at the wall on the opposite.

Just a normal wall, like it always had been.

He continued teaching his three troll students ballet.

Voldemort stood in the Dungeons breathing in the damp musty air and simply loving the memories it brought back.

"Good morning, Tom. You are very early."

He did not move at first, wanting to dwell in those old memories just for another few seconds. But then, with a sigh, he turned.

"Good Morning, Dumbledore. I haven't been here for so long, you sure understand I wanted to visit some old places."

The man with the white hair looked calmly over his half-moon shaped glasses: "I would not have expected anything else of you, Tom."

Feeling slightly nervous under the old man's knowing gaze, Voldemort cleared his throat:" Well, shall we start?"

"Of course. After all, this is the reason why you are here, is it not?", not breaking the eye contact, Dumbledore waved into the direction of the stairs: "Please after you, Tom. I assume you remember the way to my office?"

"Yes.", he passed the old man.

_And some day, it will be mine._

Only an hour had passed when Voldemort left the castle. His predatory walk matching his furious face. He wanted to scream.

How could this old fool have declined him! It was always _always_ Dumbledore who crossed his plans! The way he had looked at him when he had walked him out! Had this been triumph in this old eyes? How dare he decline him what he wanted, what should have been his twenty years ago! How dare he!?

Voldemort gritted his teeth. Dumbledore will pay for this. He will see to that personally.

After all, this old man cannot stop him. He can hold on to the old ways as much as he likes, but he cannot stop time, he cannot stop progress, and he most certainly cannot stop him!

He never will!

Reaching the old street to Hogsmeade, he paused. He did not want to go down there and tell those fools what had happened. He did not want to hear their false condolence.

He needed a place somewhat calm to ease his nerves.

And with that thought, Voldemort vanished a second time for that day.

**I am bold now (haha).**

**Ok. That was a really bad joke but I want you to simply see the difference between the story and my babbling. I had planned something else for this chapter 'cause I need Voldemort to be upset and thoughtful for the next events and my first idea was: good old Dumbledore can see to that. So I changed some parts of the timeline (it is a fan-fiction after all) and let them meet for Voldemort's job-interview a little bit later than in cannon. And while I was writing this I thought " Oh, yeah he hid the horcrux" and "oh his pals had been in Hogsmeade" and that's why the next one will be from Severus' pov. instead of his. I try to take turns on them with each chapter but there might be some exceptions.**

**As you already noticed, the horcruxes will be in this story.**

**Well, thank you for reading. **

**:)**


	4. Lesson of power

Disclaimer: you guessed it: Don't own anything.

Summary: Severus finds shelter in a tree hole from the rain when a strange man suddenly appears before him.

Warning: Staring contest up ahead.

This chapter might seem a bit strange at first. But it will clarify in the next one. (Or at least I hope it will.)

Chapter 3: Lesson of power

It had started to rain again.

The scrawny little boy with the black hair looked around, sseking shelter under some trees. His feet had brought him to the park at the lake. He shifted his weight to the other leg, scanning the area for suitable places to wait out the rising storm.

It was cold for August and he shivered slightly. Not wanting to stay in the middle of the pathway, he went over the meadow towards an especially large tree near the water, its leaves rustled in the upcoming wind.

Severus was sure the storm will worsen soon. He went around the tree and found with relieve a huge gap in the old wood large enough for him squeeze inside of the trunk.

He sat in here for hours, watching the rain and thinking about his mom and dad. He did not want to cry anymore, although he felt like it. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to understand what had happened and what horrible things he had done. He did not want to be a monster.

He leaned his face against the wood which was oddly warm and dry. He snuggled against the wooden walls slowly taking comfort in the tree's embrace.

His clothes had dried nearly immediately after entering the gap and no drop of the pouring rain found his way into the hole. It was nice and cozy and it felt so warm. He closed his eyes.

His mommy was laughing down on him: "Come here, Severus." She held a rucksack out to him. His father next to him ruffled his hair, smiling: "Now come or we will be late for the game. We want to eat some hot dogs before it starts, don't we?"

Severus stared at him in bewilderment. Aren't they mad at him? Was his daddy still taking him to the game today?

His father looked concerned: "Something wrong, my boy? Don't you want a hot dog? Maybe an ice cream?"

Tears filled Severus' eyes: "Daddy, I won't be bad. I promise."

His father hugged him: "My sweet son, what happened? Of course you are not bad. You are always good. You know I am proud of you. You know what, you get a hot dog and an ice cream."

His mother came from behind, hugging him as well as his father: "Darling, don't cry. You must have had a bad dream. Everything is all right now. Don't cry, Severus."

Thunder growled. All three looked up to the blue sky, wondering.

His father turned his gaze at him and asked with a much higher alien voice: "How can someone cry whilst sleeping?"

Severus woke immediately, his heart drumming against his chest. Right in front of him was a man with crimson eyes peering down at him. His body blocked the entrance of the tree, allowing almost no light to pass by. His dark hair and black clothes stood in contrast to his deadly pale skin shimmering blue where the veins hid like spiders under the surface. But the most frightening part were the red eyes. Those piercing red eyes.

Severus stared back in those pools of blood, feeling to drown in them.

"So? What is a young wizard like you doing out here in the middle of a storm late in the evening? Hm?" The man eyed him curious.

Still looking into the stranger's eyes he answered mechanically: "My parents kicked me out because I am a monster."

He did not thought it possible but the stare of the man intensified. He seemed to look right into his soul.

"Ah. So you used magic for the first time. But to use it to repair some rubbish from that Muggle.", the man sighed, "Serves you right to get slapped in the face, boy."

Severus titled his head in wonder: "What's a Muggle?"

The man paused for a minute, finally he answered: "Muggles are scum. They can't use magic like we do. That's why they are scared and call us monster. They instinctively feel that we are highly superior. Your father is a Muggle."

_My father is a Muggle?_ "What about my mother?", the last sentence speaking out loud, still looking into those red pools, he suddenly noticed a glimmer of wonder in the man's eyes or was he just imagining it? Was it his own wonder he saw?

Suddenly he remembered his oldest memory. He could not walk or talk, he had been a babe back then. His mother had looked at him, smiling and holding her index finger to her mouth. She then took out a wooden stick. He had wondered what it was back then and wanted to grab it, thinking his mother will give it to him to play with. But instead she had waved it through the air and small animal shaped lights flew from its top and danced around him. He had laughed at the funny sight. The vision, that had been so clear just a moment ago, faded.

The man was staring intensely at him.

Was he using magic right now?

"Hm. She is definitely a witch. But not a good one if she lets herself getting beaten by a Muggle.", the man stated, seeming a bit annoyed.

"But doesn't that mean, if she was a good witch, she would not have been hurt by a Muggle?", doesn't that mean, if he was strong enough, no one could hurt him?, Severus thought.

The man smiled slightly and stated: "Yes. Only the strong ones can protect themselves and not even that, child. They can do so much more. And magic is the key to such power. After all: magic is might."

Severus thought for a moment. What this stranger had said seemed logical. He did not understand everything. He did not know about might nor about Muggles. Hell, he did not even know what the word scum meant. But what he did know, was that the stronger team always wins. His father had said so. So why shouldn't the stronger person always win too? Being deeply in thought he did not realize that he still stared into the mans eyes, who was still meeting his gaze, but seemed to see right through him like he did not recognize him at all. Surely he had greater things on his mind. Great things only a wizard could understand.

"How can I learn magic?"

The man seemed to have just awaken from a dream, but focused on him quickly.

"You will attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for seven years starting at the age of eleven."

"And there I will learn to read minds like you do?"

"No. You will only learn the basics there... After you graduated from school, come and find me and I will teach you truly powerful magic."

Severus was excited. He will learn magic, he will be powerful. He can prove he is not a monster.

"What is your name?", he asked the man.

The man grinned at him: "Oh, you will know who I am by the time you graduate."

"You already know my name, don't you?"

"Yes. I always know.", the man shifted his weight," Until then, young wizard."

And suddenly, Severus was alone once more. He glanced out of the tree hole. But in the moment he looked searching through the rain, he already knew the man was gone.

He leaned back against the warm wood, thinking of a school of magic, of power and of the stranger with the blood red eyes.

**Sorry for the delay. I caught a cold and all my brain cells had to focus on my studies. I hope the chapter is all right. I don't really like it but I still wanted to finish it. **

**If you wondered why Sev accepted being a wizard without question. Well, he is only six and his father is a strict person. If he says the sky is green, the sky will be green for little Sev.**

**But this will change soon. **

**See ya around ;)**


	5. Nothing to hide

Disclaimer: still don't own anything.

Summary: Voldemort meets a small child.

Warnings: Voldemort not killing anyone and actually talking to a child. (means OOC)

Chapter 4: Nothing to hide

_He needed a place somewhat calm to ease his nerves._

_And with that thought, Voldemort vanished a second time for that day. _

Rain started to fall and the sky darkened like it knew of the approaching presence and wanted to wash it away.

Lord Voldemort appeared out of nowhere right in the middle of small park at a lake. Rain fell around him but refused to touch him.

He looked around.

A young woman with her two girls ran past him trying to shelter themselves from the rain only with their bare arms raised above their heads.

Muggles!

He took out his wand fixing his gaze at the younger girl, but hesitated. No. He was not in the mood for that now. Putting his wand back into his robes again, he approached the lake.

The rhythm of the waves caused by the storm were mesmerizing and he came to a halt to simply stare into the water, soon lost deep in thought.

The rain had risen to a storm by now but he did not mind. The water could not touch his still dry robes.

The place would have been nice if not for all the Muggles.

How did he landed up here anyway? He had wanted to go somewhere quiet, yes, but this place? He did not recognize it. Had he ever been here before? He glanced around, resting his gaze on the small village behind him.

Yes. He had the feeling he had been here before. By that time he had been restless and was searching for someone who lived here. He had apparated to this park too back then...

Did he not?

...

Something was odd on that memory. It felt really far away, like...

He couldn't describe it. But it was not important either. If it had been, he would have remembered it more precisely.

Anyhow, who in his sane mind would want to live in a village full of Muggles?

He looked around again, suddenly having the feeling to be waiting for someone to meet him here. Someone he had nearly forgotten.

He shook his had. By Merlin's beard, what was wrong with him?

He started to walk hoping it will help him to get rid of this feeling. He tried to concentrate his thoughts back on finding a way to show his gratitude to Dumbledore.

The sun had almost set when he stopped his pacing around the lake. He finally had a good plan. Of course some preparations were needed to be done at first.

Humming contently to himself he took out his wand to apparate only to recognize a presence just a few meters afar from him. Another person seeking solitude in the rainy park?

He approached the huge old oak tree he felt the presence from, curious of who was hiding there. Maybe he could have a little fun with that Muggle?

Turning around he found a cave-like hole in the huge trunk. And in it sat a small boy, asleep. But the interesting thing was what surrounded him.

Voldemort inspected the wood which was heated up and even glowing slightly. The protection went up the trunk closing at the ceiling of the small cave.

His lips curled up into a smile. So, there is a wizard in this Muggle infested village after all. He looked at the child more closely. The little one couldn't be older than 6. He looked scrawny and his black hair was tousled. Sitting in this hole, all in black, he looked like a raven or a bat. Something glimmered on the child's pale cheek. Were those tears?

"How can someone cry whilst sleeping?"

The boy startled and opened his eyes, staring right into his own. They were black as well.

The child just stared, looking amazed. After a while, Voldemort was certain he the boy won't break the silence, so he asked:"So? What is a young wizard like you doing out here in the middle of a storm late in the evening? Hm?"

The boy answered immediately: "My parents kicked me out because I am a monster."

A monster? What on earth was wrong with that kid? Well, lets find out.

_Legilimens._

The boy sat on an old carpet in a bedroom. He used magic to repair some Muggle sport trophies. A man came. Shouted. A slap in the face. The child cried and ran.

So this must be why.

"Ah. So you used magic for the first time. But to use it to repair some rubbish from that Muggle... Serves you right to get slapped in the face, boy."

The boy titled his head in wonder asking curious: "What's a Muggle?"

Hm. Of course he does not know. He must be a mudblood. Not much better than a Muggle _itself_. Well, better he knows what his father is. _What_ he came from.

"Muggles are scum. They can't use magic like we do. That's why they are scared and call us monster. They instinctively feel that we are highly superior. Your father is a Muggle."

He studied the change of expression on the boy's face. But what he saw was not what he had expected. This child was not afraid or furious. Instead he seemed irritated and curious. He did not question the fact that he was a wizard or that his father was filth. He just accepted it as a fact.

"What about my mother?"

He had to admit, he was a little bit curious himself now.

Oh well, why not find out.

_Legilimens._

A woman with the same black hair and black eyes as the boy stood at the bed of a baby, waving a wand and producing some animal shaped lights.

"Ah..."

He turned. _The boy_ was standing next to him, experiencing the memory with him. Voldemort blinked and quickly ended the spell.

By Merlin's unwashed socks! Why on earth was he with him in the memory?

He should not have been there. He should not have noticed it!

He must have been careless because of his undeveloped weak magic and must have let him in. That must be it. About his mother on the other hand...

"Hm. She is definitely a witch. But not a good one if she lets herself getting beaten by a Muggle."

Might be, the child was not scum like his father. At least he was a halfblood and that was something. But with a witch like her as mother!?

On the other hand...

He could not stop the thoughts about his own origins rising up from the deep dark pool he had drowned them in years before. No! He was completely different. The heir of Slytherin.

"But doesn't that mean, if she was a good witch, she would not have been hurt by a Muggle?"

The question brought him back to reality.

He smiled thankfully and decided to share some wisdom with the boy: "Yes. Only the strong ones can protect themselves and not even that, child. They can do so much more. And magic is the key to such power. After all: magic is might."

_Magic is might._ It gives you the power to achieve everything and to conquer even death.

Conquer death...

And today, he had done another step to achieve his ultimate goal.

After he had become immortal, anything else will be like child's play.

_For the last enemy that shall be defeated is death._

No other enemy will be a truer enemy.

…

Where did he heard that sentence again...?

"How can I learn magic?"

He blinked. Ah, yes, the child was still there disturbing his thoughts with useless questions. He grew bored of this conversation and ordered: "You will attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for seven years starting at the age of eleven."

The boy seemed eager, asking yet another question:"And there I will learn to read minds like you do?"

How can someone be so ignorant? Even as a child he should know at least something!

"No. You will only learn the basics there."

He paused for a second, adding:" After you graduated from school, come and find me and I will teach you truly powerful magic."

Maybe he will turn out to be at least acceptable as a servant.

The child gave him an admiring look and asked excited:""What is your name?"

His... name? This child did not know anything. Well, he could not by now. But when the time comes, everyone will know who he is. He grinned in amusement:"Oh, you will know who I am by the time you graduate."

"You already know my name, don't you?"

Smart boy.

"Yes. I always know."

He did not. He could, if he wanted to. But why bother with the name of a halfblood he most likely will never see again. He took out his wand

"Until then, young wizard."

And disapparated.

**I seriously started to learn to do if-sentences right (and will certainly have forgotten anything about it by tomorrow). Well its for the greater good:)**

**Anyhow, I wanted to write their first meeting from both povs. I think it is a very important scene so I thought it would be better if you know who thought what about the other. As I said in the summary, this story will be long and it will take a while for them to start anything. (Of course. Little Sev is only six now.) No really, it will take a long time. **

**See ya :)**


	6. A family gift from a stranger

Disclaimer: still don't own anything.

Summary: Severus searches for his mothers wand but gains much more than that.

Warnings: much more adult Severus than just his six years (but I think he could have pulled something like that in cannon too)

Chapter 5: A family gift from a stranger

The cellar was always a bit moist.

A gray mouse set at the far end of the long and dark room. Barely visible behind her was an old door leading to second room.

But that one was so dark, that no light would ever find its way in. Guarded by the grim looking door strengthen with iron bars, it emitted a ghostly unfriendly aura. A rusty lock hindered any unwanted visitor from entering it. The keyhole was crusted with red layers of rust. It was obvious it had not been used for a very long time.

The small mouse scratched its ear and began to groom its fur, not aware of the fact that it was one of the only two living beings who had witnessed the contents of the room behind that old wooden door.

A shrieking sound announced the approach of another being whilst the door to the first floor opened reluctantly sending a small flicker of light down the wooden staircase into the cellar.

The mouse tensed and sniffed the air.

Quiet footsteps reached its attentive ears. They were slow and stopped several times as though the person responsible for the sound feared to be heard by someone -or something- else.

The door closed again and a shadow hushed from shelf to shelf, hiding behind the neatly packed old belongings of house Snape. The shadow drew nearer and nearer to the door.

The mouse squeaked in terror and fled the scene through a tiny hole in the old wood as the small dark figure stepped forward.

Pale light from the streetlamps fell through the only window of the room, illuminating the tense and boyish facial features of Severus Snape.

The child took another two steps and reached for the doorknob just to confirm that it was still locked. He sighed and withdrew a few small objects from his pocket.

Kneeling down before the door, he started to pick the lock with his tools.

It had been a week since his encounter with the red eyed man.

On that night, he had stayed in the gap of the trunk until the next morning, reviewing the conversation over and over again.

He was a wizard and his mother had been –or still was- a witch. That must be the truth, he could practically feel that it was right.

And if he remembered it correctly, the man with the crimson eyes had used a wand to vanish into thin air. His mother, on the other hand, had used a wand to produce those shining animal shaped lights.

It must be a wand or something like it.

In the last few days, he had checked every spot where her wand could be hidden. He had waited patiently for his parents to leave for work before he started his search. He seriously doubted that his mother carried it with her all the time, but he did not dare to check her clothes while she was bathing.

Still he could not find the damn thing.

Now his last hope was this room. He had always dreaded this place but after three days -or rather nights- trying to open that stupid lock, he finally got rid of this fear.

He remembered a day when he had felt very sick and his mother had gone down here for several hours. When she finally returned, she gave him a steaming, foul smelling cup filled with a bogey-green liquid. After he had drunk it – strangely it had tasted like milk with honey- steam rose from his ears and he instantly felt well again.

Something must be in this room his mother had hidden down here to hinder his father from finding it. Maybe she had stored the wand in here to give it to him some day.

A clicking sound tore him away from his musing.

The lock had sprung open.

Severus opened the door with shaking hands, ignoring the shrieking sound it made.

The room behind it was pitch black.

His hands moved along the wall in search of a light switch, but found none.

He plucked up his courage, stretched out his arms and walked slowly into the room. But right after three careful steps, his food touched something solid on the ground.

Carefully leaning forward, he started to investigate the foreign object with his hands. It could be an old case or something like that.

An old case with a lock.

And closed.

His hands fumbled desperately at the lock trying to open it somehow. But he did not need light to know that this lock was much more delicate than the old one on the cellar door. How on earth should he open that?

Suddenly a warm light shone on the old case from behind him.

Severus froze, not daring to turn around, he simply continued to stare at the lock.

"Alohomora."

And the lock opened itself.

A hand from behind grabbed the lid and drew it backwards, revealing its content.

In the old case was only one object. Severus eyed it curious. A black leather belt with a small pouch attached to it, which seemed to be made of the same leather, lay in there completely forlorn. The belt was ornamented with delicate silver threads, which seemed to flow in and out of the ever changing symbols. The threads seemed to flow together at each end of the belt, forming a silver buckle, that was solid and liquefied at the same time. The small pouch, on the other hand, was as black as the night sky with not even a knob to close it, but still holding its content (if there was anything in it at all). Although the object must have laid in the case for many years, it did not look neglected or old.

The boy looked up searching for his mothers eyes, latter was still looking at the belt, transfixed by the sight.

He shifted uncomfortably and she glanced at him briefly, wearing a sad smile. The sight was enough to calm the boy a bit.

"I always imagined this moment to be more festive.", she said in a low voice whilst taking the belt out of the case, which closed as if by an invisible hand. The lock snapped back with the speed of a striking snake.

The woman held the belt in both of her slightly shaking hands tracing the silver lines with her eyes. Expecting any kind of reaction, good as well as bad, Severus watched his mother intensely, always ready to bolt by the slightest sign of another outburst.

But instead, tears started to fill her eyes and when she talked again her voice sounded broken:

"Some part of me always hoped you will be.. like me. Not that it would be bad if you were more like my Tobias. Not at all, of course not... but... Hogwarts, the school I went to,... what I mean is, there is no other place in the whole world more magical, more wonderful than this castle."

Tears fell down her cheeks as she started to sob, her voice only a whisper now: "I'm so sorry, my son. I really am. But when you love someone, truly love, you will do anything for this person. Even if that means to abandon a part of yourself as I did... Some day you might understand."

The child simply stared at his mother, not feeling any kind of fear anymore. She looked at him in expectation of an answer but he did not know what to say to hear. He could not understand the crying woman and he did not want to. For the first time in his life he looked her in the eyes and could not recognize her. She was just a broken sobbing woman.

Had she always been this weak?

The oddly unfamiliar woman wearing his mothers mask looked at him pleadingly and held out the belt to him: " This had belonged to your grandfather, Severus Prince, a great wizard. You were named after him. He gave it to me at my first departure to Hogwarts. He... my father, had high hopes for me... hopes I had crushed when I married Tobias. But I think I could not have met them anyway. I never was a good witch"

A mad sound somewhere between a laugh and a cry came out of the woman's mouth

The child stood up. Ready to leave the crying woman alone with her sorrow, he turned to the door.

"Wait! Please wait!" she shrieked," I want you to have it. I always wanted you to have it!"

The face of the boy was hard as he turned around, meeting the gaze of the sobbing bundle now crouching before him.

"Why should I want anything from you?" the disgusted voice did not sound like that of a child.

The man with the crimson eyes had been right. She was weak. He will not succumb to that weakness of her. He will get powerful like him.

The eyes of the woman widened with shock,at the icy cold stare of her own son. Her body started to shake uncontrollably.

"Severus, my sweet son, this was meant to be yours. You are so much like him, my good and strong father. I always wanted to be a good and protective mother to you. I know I failed in that too."

He approached her until his face nearly touched hers. His eyes two black pools filled with liquefied disgust whilst he took the belt and the pouch out of her hands speaking with a low and strangely calm voice: "There is no need to call me your son anymore."

He turned around and went through the door, not glancing back once at the stranger silently sobbing to herself in solitude as he moved onward.

**Hello again.**

**Real life holds me in a tight grip and I dont have a lot of time, sadly. Actually all my free time is either sleeping or writing this. I am really happy when the exams are done. Until then I will only update once a week ( mostly on Monday).**

**To the content of this chapter: **

**I love stories where Sev and his mother get along well, but sadly this wont happen in this one (at least thats what I intend to). It wouldnt feel right. So in the last chapter she broke his trust and now he cant go back to the way it had been before he met our favorite Dark Lord.**

**Now on to the next one. :)**


	7. Seven of a whole

Disclaimer: still don't own anything.

Summary: The Dark Lord curses the Defense Against The Dark Arts job.

Warnings: Drunken Hagrid. Protect your china!

Chapter 6: Seven of a whole

The forest near the castle grounds laid in darkness. A warm light came from a small hut slightly hidden near the outskirts of the woods. It was a pleasant and beautiful night with a clear sky where the stars brightly shone down at the peaceful land.

A huge hairy man trudged up the path from the small village down the valley singing a merry tune to himself. From time to time he clumsily stumbled over his own feet and the merry song was interrupted by rumbling laughter.

It was a quiet and nice summer night. No one would deny that. Not even the man with the white hair who glanced down from a castle window on the starlit grounds through his half-moon spectacles. He seemed at peace as he smiled slightly and took one final glance over to the forest. Dumbledore closed the curtains and only a moment later the lights behind those went out.

It was almost midnight. And everything was more peaceful than it could ever be with hundreds of students in the castle.

But one being was not at peace that night.

Or rather, he felt at peace only by thinking of his plan to disturb the future peace of the castle.

Deep down in the heart of the forest, at a small clearing, a man stepped out of the shadows of the trees and walked briskly to the middle. Raising his head up to the sky, Voldemort went through his plan another time, his pale skin slightly glowing in the starlight.

Everything was finally prepared.

It had taken the Dark Lord a whole week to find the right incantations with the most efficient order to cast them.

But of course, he could have done it sooner. Only, he did not like to give Dumbledore an imperfect "Thank you" gift in return for his denial of the job. If you intend to mess with a school where someone like Dumbledore is headmaster, you ought to be extra careful. Otherwise the curse will be removed soon and his efforts would all be in vain. And someone like Voldemort definitely did not waste precious time.

Not after he decided that his years of preparation in hiding were finally over. At last it was time to act.

_What is your name?_, the child had asked him.

He will know soon. They will all know soon.

And by then, they will all know what fear truly means.

Thinking back to his years of hiding he was quite pleased with his achievements. He had found four precious objects connected to the founders of Hogwarts. One of them had been hidden here in this forest right at this clearing. Wasn't this the reason why he had chosen this place? The exact same spot where the daughter of Ravenclaw had died centuries ago. Where the lost diadem got lost and was lastly found by none other than him. It was a place of history and it will witness the making of history once again.

He concentrated on the task at hand.

After a long time of reading and re-reading through countless books, he had finally chosen seven different spells.

It had to be seven, for only this number held enough magical power to stabilize the curse for all eternity. The spell will be impossible to vanquish. Just like he _is and ever will be_.

A slight glow spread from the center of the clearing to the trees as the man in its center began to speak in a low voice.

The first spell was a rather simple one but nonetheless as crucial as the six that will follow suit.

It was cast quickly, its only task to conceal the curse from anyone searching for it. Of course it will take some time even for Dumbledore to notice that there is indeed a curse.

The eerie light had become brighter and now flooded the clearing in an unnatural aura whilst the man in the center of it started to mutter the second spell. His high voice sounded oddly loud in the deadly quiet forest. It was hard to believe that only a few moments ago the trees had been alive with the sounds of animals. Now, there did not seem to be any living being within miles except for the man with the crimson eyes.

This forest had always been called "The Forbidden Forest", even before Hogwarts was founded. But in all those centuries, there had never been a night where this name had suited it more than in this particular one.

If anyone mustered up the courage to check on that pale light coming from the depths of the forest, he would witnessed one of the future secrets around Hogwarts and he would not live to tell about it.

The second and third spell were more complicated than the first one and of his own creation. At the time he was inventing them, he had intended to use them to find a way to reopen the chamber of secrets and finish the noble task of Salazar Slytherin, his noble ancestor, once and for all . But then he had found a better way to ensure that the chamber will be opened once again. Still, he had finished the creation of those two spells even before he had left the school.

Not that it was exceptional for him to to so. For any other wizard or witch on the other hand, it would have been impossible.

Those two spells were like twins. They had the power to attach themselves to a curse, the cursed object and one or more person who came in touch with said curse. On that way the jinx could infect the unlucky one and there would be no escape for him from the damage the curse would surely and inevitably cause. The cursed object will still hold the curse while the person infected with it will carry it the rest of his life. In this particular situation the curse will be laid upon the position of the "Defense Against The Dark Arts"- teacher whilst the teacher himself will also be burdened with it. It was one of his meaner – and funnier- ideas. If someone occupied the job for only a year, the curse would not trigger, for its task was to prevent anyone to hold this position for more than a year. Preferably with the most cruel reason why he wont occupy it a second time. So, if someone stops being a teacher after only one year, the curse will sleep and even strengthen itself over time. If he comes back, well, he most certainly will not survive his return to the school.

A nasty grin appeared on the mans face forcing his eyes to small slits and his face into a strange snake like mask whilst the man still looked up to the stars, now reciting the fourth incantation.

That one will bind the seven spells together making them seven parts of a whole.

The light shifted into a bright red while the earth seemed to shake slightly under the feet of the man who either took no notice or cared not.

Fog slithered snakelike out from under the trees into the direction of the man in the center. Behaving just like a pet called by its master, it curled and uncurled at his feet whilst becoming thicker and thicker with each passing second, protecting its master from sight.

The fifth one was easier again. It was mostly for protection against any attacks or even nullification. It will only be needed at first but it was better to be safe than sorry. He cast it swiftly.

And now the sixth one, a special gift, one could say.

The foggy snakes twitched, crawling over one another, all in their attempt to reach their master. Some of them started to curl around him, wrapping him completely with their own thick bodies, which shimmered red in the abnormal light.

The gift of time.

The high voice echoed over the clearing and the trees were rustling as though the voice itself let them shake in fear.

This one will truly ensure immortality. It will start weak, not being able to do its task at first. But the curse will ripen over time and will grow into something men will fear. And given enough time, there will be no possible way to destroy it anymore.

No possible way to end it.

For no one.

A high laugh filled the air.

And then the light became darkness and the clearing was silent again.

The fog had vanished.

The black haired man, now practically invisible in the sudden darkness, lowered his head and closed his eyes.

The seventh spell, the heart of the curse, was cast in darkness and silence for there shall it remain and do its evil work.

Voldemort turned around, looked at the castle and smiled lovingly.

"Good night my only home. Sleep well until we see each other again."

Wind blew, the sound of animals filled the air again and the forest simply forgot what had happened a moment ago, just like it always did.

**This one was really hard. I had the idea of writing this scene but did not know how to do it. My first version was about half a page and really lame. So I rewrote it over and over again. And I had a lot of trouble finding the right words. After all, English is not my mother language. But I like how it turned out to be. Actually I wanted to show that he did not even think once about Sev, but I couldn't bring myself to let Voldy simply forget him. So he had to think at least once about him. **

**Besides the next chapter will have the first time skip and might get really long. I hope I can finish it till next Monday.**

**Thanks to PiffyEQ and Aria Slytherin for the comments. It made me really happy :)**


	8. Of happiness, coldness and sadness

Disclaimer: still don't own anything.

Summary: Severus finds a friend. (Yes it happens more in here. But I am not to good in summaries.)

Warnings: physical violence

Chapter 7: Of happiness, coldness and sadness

Three years have passed.

The small boy named Severus Snape had grown taller although he remained skinny. His black eyes had become colder and more calculating. His thin figure was underlined by the over-sized worn-out clothes he wore. In fact, they looked like they might fit a grown man perfectly well.

His black shirt was faded and had several holes. The edge of his trousers looked like someone had cut it roughly to fit his size. Although this must have happened quite some time ago because it was much too short now. His dirty bare feet rested on the green grass.

The much too large trousers were hold together by the only neat looking thing the boy possessed. The black belt with the silver stings looked so much out of place that one might think he must have stolen it. But the boy did not care about his appearance nor did he care about peoples opinion.

He rested against the old tree at the lake and was completely immersed in a book. It was the some tree in which trunk he had hidden himself from a storm three years ago and had met the man with the crimson eyes.

It was a sunny and warm summer morning whose cloudless sky promised a hot day.

The boy's black eyes were fixed upon the pages of the old book whilst he turned a page. The letters in faded gold on the dark red cover forming the title:" Hogwarts, A History".

In fact he was so concentrated on his readings that he did not notice the two arguing girls approaching his position at first.

"Lilly, no! Let him be! He surely is mad!"

"I just want to talk to him, Tuney. There is no harm in that."

"You can't know that! He is dangerous!"

Severus had stopped reading whilst the voices grew louder and nearer. He continued to stared at the letters in his book and listened hard.

The footsteps he had heard just a moment ago stopped abruptly.

"How would you know that?", the girl supposedly named Lilly asked in an annoyed tone.

"Oh Lilly! He practically lives in that tree. He is dirty and talks to no one. I mean, just look at what he wears! And mother said he is the boy of that drunk lunatic down at Spinner's End."

Lilly bristled with anger:"Tuney, maybe he is always here and wears those shabby clothes _because_ his father is a drunk lunatic and maybe he speaks to no one _because_ everyone thinks just like you do and avoids him."

Severus closed the book slowly, stood up and strode around the tree silently. He had heard enough. Those two were talking about him right under his nose. One stated he is a murderous lunatic and the other one was even worse. And above all, both were only Muggles!

Laying as much confidence in his voice as he could muster, he snarled: "I don't need your pity". Besides...", his cold gaze now resting on the brown haired girl with the sour face, who he thought might be Tuney: "it is a pretty stupid thing to bitch around when the person you bad-mouthed about is right there."

The brown haired girl pulled herself up to her full height. Severus had to look up to her for she was nearly a head taller. She hissed angrily at him:"Who do you call stupid?"

The black haired boy smiled and when he spoke, his voice was calm and soft:" Well, you of course."

Suddenly the girl called Tuney screamed at him in rage and clenched her hands into tight fists: "You are a dump-ass! A LUNATIC! Get lost you crazy FREAK!"

A sudden wind pushed her back and she fell on her bottom. Severus was so surprised that all he could do was stare at her. Of course he had intended to punish her for her profanity but the wind was not caused by him. Neither had it been a natural gust of wind. Her face now red with anger, she threw a killing glance at the younger one. The redheaded girl stared back in terror, her lips trembling as she spoke in a shaky whisper: "Tuney, I am really sorry. I did not mean to. I apologize. Are you hurt? Please don't be mad at me. I did not want to..."

Well, wasn't that interesting?

Maybe he was not the only child gifted with magic around here.

Tuney scrambled to her feet, ignoring Lilly's helping hand.

"I really did not want to hurt you, Tuney."

_Yes,_ Severus thought delighted, _I meant to. But I have to admit, this is so much better than what I had in mind._

The slight smile on his face widened into a grin whilst he studied the red haired girl, intrigued by her magical outburst.

That was why he did not see the fist been swung at him. He only heard the girl named Lilly scream and saw her running towards him whilst he fell on the floor, unbalanced by the blow.

He had to blink several times to clear his blurred vision and banish the pain out of his head.

"Ar you all right?"

A hand was placed at his shoulder and when he looked up, he saw directly into the concerned face of Lilly, only inches away from his own. He had not been this near to another person in the last two years and he flinched back a little, startled.

"Yes," he croaked and turned his head to the left in the hope of gaining at least some personal space." It was nothing. Don't mention it.", he mumbled.

A hand was stretched out to him.. Utterly bewildered by the gesture, he just stared at it with wide black eyes.

Lilly chuckled:" You know, I won't bite you. Let me help you up."

On the one hand he did not want her help, but one the other hand he did not want to mimic the reaction of stupid Tuney. So he let her.

Both children looked at each other. Neither of them able to break the outstretched silence. Severus wanted to say something if only to end this awkward moment. He did want to ask her about her magical outburst. But how to ask her about something she must think comes right from a fairy tail?

His thoughts of how to approach the topic were disturbed by Lilly's apologetic words:" I am really sorry. Tuney doesn't mean it that way. It was not the first time I did something... strange and it always makes her mad at me."

"You mean you did other things like the wind before?", he asked curious, wanting to know more about her.

Her cheeks became a slight shade of pink as she continued:"Well, yes. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes such things do happen out of nowhere all around me."

She plucked a flower from the grass: "Watch.", she commanded and Severus did. Her face was now concentrated whilst she stared at the small flower on her hand. The black eyes were fixed upon the delicate thing. Severus found that it was a rather huge flower. He titled his head in wonder. Was it his imagination or did the picked flower grew bigger? Yes, there could be no denial that it had at least doubled its original size. Where the change had been minor at first, now went faster and faster.

"Oh!", Lilly gasped as the flower – now nearly the size of her palm- took flight in a small breeze and danced through the air. The delicate thing landed directly in the outstretched hands of Severus.

A laughter as clear as ringing bells filled the air.

"I knew it!"She took his hands into hers carefully not to crush the flower, her eyes reflecting the same joy of her laughter.

"I knew it! I have watched you so often!", she laughed warmly at him. "You are always here. Always. When it rains, you don't get wet. When its cold, it's always warm around here. There is never snow near that tree. I knew it!", she laughed again, harder this time:" This is so incredible!"

Severus could not stop him from joining the contagious laughter and soon both were sitting in the grass, neither of them able to stop. He did not remember when he had laughed this hard the last time and it felt good and somehow liberating.

It took them quite a while until both could calm down enough. Smiling broadly at each other, the black haired shabby looking boy stretched his hand out to the red haired girl in the neat dress: " I am Severus Snape. Pleased to meet you."

She shook his hand:" Likewise. My name is Lilly Evans."

XXX

XXX

And from that day on, Severus had made his first friend ever in his whole life and it was amazing.

"What is this?" Lilly asked curious. Not that is was peculiar for her to be curious, she was always like that and asked Severus a lot of question. But he did not mind. She was nearly always happy too.

And when she was around, he could feel what he had lacked the three two years. Happiness.

Severus looked up from his book.

Three days had passed since their first meeting. On that day, they had talked until late in the evening. He had told her that she was a witch and he a wizard. That they will go to Hogwarts and learn to control their magic. And she had asked him a lot of questions he had tried to answer as best as he could.

"Good morning.", noticing that she did not look at the book he asked slightly puzzled: "What do you mean?"

She put her rucksack down and started to search through it, not looking at him as she answered: "Your belt and the pouch. What exactly is this? The silver looks like its always flowing into new forms and I think they do change." she retrieved a box from her rucksack, continuing to speak: "And I have seen you pulling out a book from this pouch that could never have fitted in it.". She took out two tasty looking sandwiches from the box and held one out to him:"Is it enchanted?"

Hungrily he accepted the sandwich from her: "Yes.", and took a huge bite.

She looked him over with a concerned expression: "Do you even eat anything at home?"

"Sometimes.", he managed to say between two bites, to calm her nerves he added: "Children my age need to eat a lot, besides your sandwiches are great. Never waste good foot."

He did eat at home from time to time but only if no one was there and if there even was something left for him. He knew his mother saved him food every evening. But apart from that his parents had stopped communicating with him and most times he was grateful for that. His _wonderful_ father had mastered this ignorance to a point were he even ignored the fact that Severus still needed something to eat. Often when he crept to the kitchen at night he found the bowl with food his mother had saved him empty in the sink. Then he grabbed whatever was there and left the house, adding another favor to his list he will return one day to the old drunken idiot.

Finished with his breakfast, he looked at Lilly who was still eating: "Thanks", he smiled, "Now about the pouch...", he opened it easily and reached inside only to retrieve a book from it nearly the moment he had touched the inside. He repeated the action and with each time took out another much too large book for the small pouch. When he finished, 15 books were piled up right in front of him. He looked at Lilly and had to bite back a laugh. The girl was sitting in front of him with her half eaten sandwich forgotten between her fingers, her eyes stared wide in wonder and excitement at the pile of books, her mouth agape.

When he chuckled, she seemed to wake from her rigor and sighed happily: "I love magic."

It took only half a sandwich for her to find her curiosity back and she started to flood Severus with a number of questions: "How does it work? Can you put anything in it? How much can it hold? Does it get heavier the more you put in? How do you find anything in it again? Where did you get it?"

"Easy there, Lilly.", he laughed. " I have no idea how many things are already in there and I take them out by thinking of the object I want to retrieve. Well actually, I thought about the school of magic and retrieved anything related to it each time I put my hand into the pouch. One time it was a cauldron and the other time it was a birdcage but mostly it were books." He opened the belt and held it out to her. "You wanna try it?"

The moment she took it, a surprised look appeared on her face:" It does not weight anything at all." She inspected it carefully, tracing the silver lines with one finger and turning it slowly around in her hands. Finally she tried to open the pouch and was stunned when she could not open it right away. She knew it was not hard. She tried it a second and a third time, but the small pouch did not budge.

"I can't"

Severus had leaned forward whilst he observed her.

That was definitely new to him. Why couldn't she open it? He never had any trouble before.

"May I?", he asked and took the belt from her fingers. Concerned, he tried to open it and the pouch allowed him access to its contents immediately. "That is strange.", he muttered.

"Where did you get it?", Lilly asked with a hint of nervousness in her voice.

He paused for a moment, not wanting to tell her about the night when the woman in the cellar had given it to him. The night he had understood how weak she really was. Technically the pouch had belonged to...

"My grandfather. It had been his."

She looked at him: "Do you think he spelled it so that only you can open it?"

"Dunno.", he hastily stored the books back in the pouch, "Maybe."

_Never. I bet he does not even know about me. Would he even care?_

He stood up.

"I have to go. See you."

"What? Why?", Lilly asked confused.

"Can't be helped. Sorry."

He turned around and went down the streets leading to Spinner's End, where he passed the house of his parents without even one glance at it. He did not wish to return there now. He had to think first.

XXX

XXX

"I need to talk to you."

Another two days had passed. The small boy stepped around the corner into the dimly litted kitchen. He was soaked wet from the rain outside but did not care about it. In the last three years he had grown use to any kind of weather.

The woman on the sink flinched and spun around.

"Severus! Where have you been? You were gone for five days!"

Tears started to swell in her eyes.

_As if you would search for me._

He ignored the emotional outburst, disgusted by her display of weakness.

Concealing his emotions deep behind his black eyes, he looked at her with a blank expression. His voice was cold and smooth when he commanded: "Tell me about my grandfather."

She did not react at first, simply stared at him with wide eyes. Then slowly, she repeated his words: "Tell... you … about... your... grandfather?"

"Yes." he snarled, "my grandfather, Severus Prince, your father. Tell me about him!"

"But...", she asked puzzled,"Why?"

He approached her slowly, his cold black eyes locked with hers whilst he spoke in a barely audible whisper:" One might think it is only natural for a child to know about his family. One might, but of course, not you. Now tell me, is he still alive? Where can I find him?"

She titled her heat still wearing a bewildered expression on the face. Severus waited patiently for an answer but in vain. The woman before him just continued to stare in wonder.

Growing more and more impatient, he hissed:" Answer me!"

Slowly realization sank into the black eyes of the woman, but when she spoke, her voice sounded far away: " I don't know. I haven't seen him for over ten years. He banished me and forbade me to ever return. I don't know if he..."

He expected her to start to cry again like she did nearly every day lately but was genuinely surprised when her gaze that had been fixed on him became unfocused, deeply lost in thought.

"Of course", he sighed, "I should have expected something like that."

_I should have expected that you are once again incapable of helping your own blood._

He walked to the door and when he turned the door knob, he heard a whisper from behind:" You are so much like him."

XXX

XXX

"When do we get the letter?"

"At the age of eleven"

"And you are sure we will get one?"

"Yes, of course. It is all described in the book I lend you. Haven't you read it yet?"

"I did. But I still can't believe it. We are going to become a witch and a wizard."

"Yes. And we will be very good at it. And powerful."

"So we can protect the weak."

"So we can protect ourselves and whoever else we choose to protect."

" I can't wait to get my letter."

"Me neither."

**Lets see if this works. I a using another program to write this down. It took until Monday morning to write this and I am sorry, the next chapter wont be there on the next Monday. I dont have a lot of time and wont be able to write it this week. But it will be updated soon enough. Hope you can enjoy this one. **

**Thanks to Arya Slitherin for some interesting ideas. :)**


	9. Diseased

Disclaimer:_ still don't own anything._

_Summary: Voldemort visits Malfoy manor._

_Warnings: Crucio jinx and murder_

Chapter 8: Diseased

The dining hall was lined with white marble shining bright in the sunlight. It was 10 o'clock in the morning and the sun shone directly through the huge glass facade painting the room in a friendly golden tone.

A man with long silvery blond hair stood on the large window front, casting a huge shadow behind him that even touched the huge oaken door with the silver snakelike doorknops on the other side. His green eyes, now shimmering golden in the sunlight, were transfixed at only one point in his garden.

And what a rich garden it was.

All kind of flowers in all kind of shapes and colours grew in huge wonderfully designed flowerbeds. On the right side flew white doves around a silver pavilion which was decorated with red roses. A huge green maze grew around it and between parts of the flowerbeds. To the left danced sparkling green and silver fishes in a small stream, which itself poured forth into a pond. The pond were with its water lilies as neatly decorated as the rest of the garden. A crane stood at the edge of the water grooming its feathers.

But Abraxas Malfoy did not see any of this. His attention was grabbed by the entrance gate to the Malfoy estate.

It was quiet there and not one soul could be seen nearby.

But Abraxas knew this will soon change.

His right hand fidgeted with the snake shaped silver knob on his black cane, causing it to tap on the grey-white stone in an unnerving rhythm.

He glanced down on himself, checking his appearance for about a hundredth time this morning and plucked a silver hair from his dark blue cloak.

He had put on his best garment along with his heirloom, a star shaped brooch made of goblin silver. The brooch was quite a sight and absolutely unique, always flowing slightly in and out of shape but never loosing its shape. It was a pretty sight, yes, but it also could neutralize minor jinxes. Many wizards would pay a fortune for it, but it was worth much more.

A slight poping sound behind him announced the presence of another being.

"He will be here soon, master. May I bring some refreshments?"

The man did not even bother to look at his house elf. „Yes. Bring some wine too, Shagrim."

„As it pleases you, Master Malfoy."

The elf with the dark olive skin bowed so deep, that his nose touched the floor and vanished with the same popping sound.

Abraxas Malfoy sighed.

He had come near the prime minister in the last few months but the man still didn't trust him enough. Not enough for what he had in mind for the man in charge of the whole wizarding world.

Nobby Leach was a man born into a muggle family who happened to be gifted with magic. He had graduated from Hogwarts as top of his class and had soon started his career in the Ministry for Magic. A few years ago some stupid fools had decided it would be a good idea to make him Minister for Magic. Of course Abraxas was among many others who layed down their seats in the Wizengamot on the day Leach took his office. But that turned out to be a mistake. With all the old wizard families gone, Leach could decide whatever he wanted and had closed off any former member of the Wizengamot. Bit by bit the leech guzzled the might till it had the control over nearly everything. Half a year ago a law protecting muggle rights enetered into force. But that was not enough! It was followed by a second law cutting the already diminished rights of the old wizard families!

That had been been the last straw. He had to act.

But in order to do so he had needed some of his old influence back.

And there was only one man who could give him that.

Voldemort.

And now Abraxas had everything and had started to carry out his plan.

Last week, he had invited Leach to dinner who had come with his Muggle woman and his mudblood son. He scoffed.

„Well, well. You don't seem delighted to see me today, Abraxas."

Abraxas spun around, startled by the high voice disrupting his thoughts.

Lord Voldemort stood in the doorway leaning casually against the oaken entrance door. His arms were crossed over his chest and he smiled lazily. Someone could have thought that he was just making fun of an old friend but Abraxas knew it better and Voldemort was quite aware of that. His crimson eyes glimmered dangerously, warning everyone who dared to look into them not to mess with him.

„My Lord! Pardon me! I did not… hear you enter.", stammered Abraxas whilst bowing as low as his house elf had to him just a moment ago. His eyes were fixed on the stone floor before him: „Of course I am honoured to welcome you in my humble home, my Lord. May I offer you some refreshments?"

He had not even finished his last sentence when Voldemort spoke again in a slow , bored voice:" I don't intend to stay long, my friend. I do have a lot of business to attend to, as you well know. Why don't we get started and you tell me of your progress with the leech currently sucking on the Prime Ministers seat? You do have some progress to offer, I assume?"

The piercing red eyes stared intensely, forcing Abraxas to fix his own gaze at them.

„So?", the high voice asked, or more likely demanded to know.

„I managed to get closer to him. I invited him to dinner last week. It went good. He starts to trust me."

A taunting smirk crept over the dark Lords white face: „He starts to trust you. Is that so? After half a year of your desperate attempts he finally starts to trust you. He even entered your house and ate from your plates. My good friend, what an achievement! You must be proud of yourself. Do you think that I am proud of you? „

Whilst he spoke in a mocking tone he drew nearer to the nervous blonde, who had started to tap his cane again in a nervous rhythm. He stopped only a few inches before him, ending the last sentences in a whisper but never loosing the mocking tone.

Abraxas swallowed heavily:" No, my Lord, I…"

A raised white hand stopped him mid-sentence and the unknown force of the crimson eyes forced the head of house Malfoy to look again into them and get drowned by his own fear.

Voldemort was angry.

„Crucio"

The word was spoken softly but the screams that followed soon suffocated any other sound.

The crimson eyes were fixed upon the twitching and screaming figure on the floor, cold and calculating. After a few seconds Voldemort swung his wand again and silence returned.

„I thought you already understood, Abraxas. I do not need you to have his trust. I do need you to kill him without anyone noticing the murder. He just needs to die by any kind of disease. It will weaken the ministry and warn the mudbloods. And it certainly will not be connected to me. We need to repair all the damage this leech has done."

Voldemort started to walk slightly around Abraxas and out of his sight. The blonde had to shift his aching body to watch his Lords every step. He clearly feared another punishment.

„You are a great potions master, Abraxas, or at least this is what I believed. Now tell me, my friend, was I wrong? Did I overestimated your capabilities? Was it my fault to pick you for such a delicate task?"

„No, my Lord.", came the stammered answer.

The Dark Lord raised his wand again. His blood red eyes transfixed on the white wood, when he started to drawl in a casual tone: „ Then I suggest, you prove it to me. And to yourself too, of course. One month."

He swung the wand and Apraxas flinched, but the spell was not directed at him.

Voldemort had vanished.

Abraxas Malfoy stood up slowly, looked around and left.

He had work to do.

After all, he was the potion master of the man who will rule this world.

XXX

Two weeks later Nobby Leach resigned from his post due to an unknown illness and died shortly after.

Red eyes glowed satisfied in the light of a candle.

This was only the beginning.

**I am really sorry for the long wait but it cant be helped.**

**I don't have a lot of time due to my studies and when I finally take a break, my brain refuses to work on anything. **

**I just wanted you to know that I did not lose interest in the story. I just dont have the time. I am sorry. **

**I wont be able to update regularly but I will update. At the moment I do have at least a bit time so I think I will be able to write a few chapters in the next few weeks. Hope you are still with me. :)**

**Besides, I did not beta-read this one because I simply did not wanted to. I wanted to start with the next chapter. Hope it is readable.**


	10. A letter

Disclaimer: still don't own anything.

Summary: Its Severus 11th birthday and he is waiting for his letter from Hogwarts

Warnings: Domestic violence, mention of the death of a minor character

Chapter 8: A letter

Severus' birthdays were usually just normal days. On those, he did not do anything special nor did he get any presents or congratulations. His parents did not care. In fact they were happy to not see him on that day, or -in fact- any day at all. His best friend Lilly on the other hand often asked about his birthday but he rather did not tell her. He knew she would buy him something special that he himself could not afford. He was poor, yes, but he still wanted to keep at least some dignity.

But this year was different.

This year he was happily awaiting his birthday just like any other child would. Of course his parents would still ignore him (if he got lucky) and Lilly still did not know of his birth date. But it did not matter. This year he will get the best present of all time.

He will get his letter.

And along with it: a new life.

A new life full of magic and wonders. A life where he could finally be himself and -more importantly- become the person he wants to be.

So it came to be that in the night of January the 9th 1971 the still scrawny although taller boy lay under an old blanket on the dusty attic floor of his parents house, staring right through the dirty window on the roof into the cloudless night sky. He did not mind the fact that he hasn't slept even one minute. He felt awake and energetic, eagerly waiting to hear the flapping sounds of wings.

Every time he heard even the slightest hint of ruffling feathers in the wind he bolted up and scanned the night sky with searching eyes. He knew that wizard post was delivered by owls and he was absolutely convinced that his latter will be delivered in exactly the same way.

The night flew by while he imagined himself getting the letter from an eager owl and driving to the school in the Hogwarts express.

He dreamed of sitting in the great hall with the sorting hat on his head and hearing it yell: _"Slitherin" _right in the moment when it barely touches his head. And everyone would clap whilst he would stand up to sit next to Lilly who would wear a black robe with a green scarf herself. He thought about his first lessons and how he would exceed over anyone in potions and how Lilly would ask him to help her with hers.

Yes life will surely be so much better.

But at the time the sun rose, no owl had flew through the attic window.

He sighed and stretched his limps.

Well, the day was still young. Of course he had anticipated that the letter will come to him in the darkness of the night. But it was January, so it will be dark soon enough again.

Suddenly he could hear sounds from downstairs. His father must have gotten up to go to his part time job. About two years ago he had lost his old one by the train station because he had shown up drunk several times for work. Since then he had been at home most of the time drinking even more than before and also cursing and beating more and more. Severus tried his best to stay away from him but it was impossible to always escape his rampages. Especially since the old drunk started to blame Severus for loosing his job (as if he gave him the alcohol and had told him to get trunk before work!) and often hunted him down to give him a "proper lesson of discipline".

Severus had become quite good at dodging the old man but even better at making some handy potions to cure any kind of bruises, cuts or even broken bones. If there was any need (and sometimes there was) he could cure a broken rip within seconds with those. He had started to carry some finished potions with him in his pouch for those cases. He knew from experience that it was hard to make those potions with a snapped wrist or bruised rips.

Making potions was really fun and according to "_Legal Loopholes & Leprechauns"_ there was still no way to track this kind of magic as long as no spell-casting was involved, even if it was used by a wizard under 17. So he could do magic between the school years although he was not allowed to. That's why he decided to try as many potions recipes as he could. The ingredients were no problem at all. He just had to think of them and reach into his pouch to retrieve as much as he wanted and even more. That is how he learned what most of the ingredients in the books looked like. Although, in case of magical plants, he quickly learned to be extra careful since one of those nearly bit his hand of when he took it out of his pocket. He had started to wear gloves since then whenever he retrieved new ingredients (those had popped up from his pocket while he had cursed about his bloody hand).

It was fascinating to retrieve those things. He often wondered how many of this stuff was actually in there.

Last week he had tried a new potion, he was especially proud of it because it was said to have O.W.L-level (he had red about the exams). And he managed to brew it with his second try. The first one... well, gladly the neighbours were not at home when their garage decided to become a rocket. Luckily the firefighters decided it must have been a gas leak, so he did not have to fear getting caught.

The house went silent again. Severus listened closely for a moment before he decided that it was save enough to leave his hideout. He climbed down the wooden ladder, still trying to be as calm as possible not to wake up the sleeping woman in the nearest room. He went to the cupboard downstairs and pulled out a huge worn out sweater. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. Even the clean clothes reeked of alcohol and cigarettes.

Severus no longer had an own room nor did he have any fitting clothes. The last time his mother had bought him clothes was before the "incident", when he was six. Those were the first things his mother had sold to get at least a bit of money when the old drunk had lost his job. Nearly everything else that had belonged to him shared this fate later. His room was now completely empty except for a bed. But actually he liked it that way. It gave him the feeling that his stay was only temporarily. That he did not actually lived here. The only stupid thing about it was that he had to wear this old man's worn out clothes.

When he wandered around in those old and much too large rags, people would stare at him. Well, he was already known as the lunatic half criminal kid, so who cared how he looked? Except for Lilly, but she liked him anyway.

He was so deep in thought that he did not notice the small light shining through the slit of the kitchen door. Luckily he was used to act as silent as possible in the house. It was indeed lucky, for when he opened the door he saw the figure of Tobias Snape illuminated by the light coming from the open fridge. The man shook like a tree in a storm, silently cursing to himself as he roamed through the fridge all while mumbling to himself:" Damn, there must be something... where the heck did the old hag hide it? Goddamn."

Severus ,who had first frozen in shock, woke up from his stupor and started to withdraw slowly, not even daring to close the door again.

But luck did not stay on his side this time when Tobias shaking hands dropped a glass of marmalade on the floor. Bewildered he looked at the shattered glass and marmelade at first and then turned to the door.

"EILEEN!", he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Then he noticed Severus.

He blinked as if he tried to remember who this child in the doorway was, but when realization dawned, his face darkened: "Oi! Come here, brat!", he demanded, a mad glint in his hateful eyes.

Severus did not waste time, turned on the spot and ran down the hallway to the entrance door. The rumbling noise behind him indicated that the lunatic had taken up the pursuit. But the man was always slower in the morning due to the uncontrollable shaking. Severus reached the door and tried to open it.

But it did not budge one inch.

Severus went white. The door had never been locked. Never, except now.

An angry shout from behind and Severus turned just in the right moment to see an empty bottle flying right in his direction. He managed to duck under it and bolted to the staircase and to the attic. But just when he had taken the first steps, something grabbed his left foot and he fell hard only to get lifted up by his neck and get shoved into the hard wood of the entrance door.

"WHEN I GIVE YOU AN ORDER YOU OBEY!"

Tobias screamed at him, spitting saliva all over the boy's face. His eyes not even able to fix a spot longer than half a second. The shaky hand gripping Severus' throat tighter with each second as the man shouted in rage: "MONSTER! YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE! WHERE DID YOU PUT MY STUFF! IT WAS YOU! MONSTER! WHERE DID YOU HIDE IT!? I'LL KILL YOU!"

And the first blow landed right on his temple.

Severus vision blurred and he tried to focus again, struggling hard to get out of the man's grip.

"Tobias?"

A soft, shaky voice asked from upstairs.

"Tobias? What is wrong? Is there something you need me to do for you, dear?"

_Something you need me to do for you._ Even while getting choked Severus despised those humble words. Really, is she a house elf?

The mad man glinted at the staircase as though he had forgotten that there was another person living in this house. But only after a second he screamed at the woman now descending the staircase:" WHERE IS MY BEAKFAST?" The woman hastily scurried in the kitchen and came back with two bottled of beer in her hands: "Here darling."

But instead of calming down, Tobias got even more enraged. He threw the boy hard on the floor and his head and back hit the steps of the staircase.

While his vision darkened more and more, Severus could hear the sound of shattering glass once again, a scream, shouting, then a whimper, a rustling of feathers, more sobs.

He had to get up, he had to get out of here otherwise,his father... this man... this monster... would surely...

With great effort he managed to push himself up in a sitting position. His vision was still blurry and his head felt like it would explode any time.

Light shone through the small window at the entrance door. The house was silent.

Damn.

How long had he been out?

It must have been luck that the old drunk hadn't killed him. Maybe he thought he had finished him.

Severus silently cursed. How could he feel lucky by getting knocked out? He was so pathetically weak. Weak as this woman.

He heard the whimper again and froze.

Was Tobias still here? No, if he were, it would be much louder. Cursing over his fear he reached in his pouch and retrieved a small vial with a purple liquid. He drank it immediately and put it back in his pouch only to retrieve another one with a light grey liquid, which he gulped down too.

Feeling much better and without his head and back injury he stood up and strode to the door to open it. And stopped.

The sobbing in the kitchen was still there.

Severus sighed, turned around and went into the kitchen.

In the last five years he had seen his mother in many states of desperation. Therefore he was at least a bit prepared for what he saw now sitting on the kitchen table.

Her hair was messy and bloody on the left side, as well as her face and shirt. Tears streamed down her face and mixed with the half dried blood. She had scratch marks all over her face and forearms. Her whole body shook with each sob and she bit her left hand so hard that blood was running down and into her sleeve. Her eyes full of grief and fear stared down at the table. There lay a letter written with neon green ink.

A letter!

Severus snatched it from the table immediately.

_Dear Ms Snape,_

_I deeply regret to inform you that my dear wife Mary Prince has died. I would be grateful if you refrain from attending the funeral or any visits at all. The attached package contains her wand for it had been her dying wish that you will inherit it._

_Yours sincerely_

_Severus Prince, O. M. 3rd class_

Silence.

After he had read the letter the third time he looked at the small package on the chair next to the grieving woman. She didn't even blink when he took it and opened it. Inside was a small note in a different handwriting

_13.5 inch_

_Dragonheart string core_

_English Oak_

When he pulled out the small box containing the wand he could feel his fingers tingling with excitement. He hastily opened the small box and looked at the black wand inside it. Completely transfixed he slowly reached for it and took it out.

Red flames shot out of the wand completely engulfing him. Licking hungrily on his clothes and hair. It was hot and cold at the same time. And also... pleasant. He could feel a heart beating in the flames around him, like the one from another being near and far away at the same time. A strange voice echoed from far away.

"_Because I want to"_

And the flames where gone. He was a boy holding a wooden stick again.

Not a stick. A wand.

The sobbing had stopped.

The young wizard looked at the woman. She was staring back at him in disbelief.

It took both of them about an awkward minute of silence to process what had just happened. Then, without a word, Severus took out two vials, one with a purple and one with a light grey liquid and placed it on the table next to the letter and the box. He hesitated.

"My condolence for loosing your mother.", he said. The words felt sincere and painful. Maybe because he knew how it felt to loose your parents. With a last glance at the woman, he turned around and left.

Behind his back, a small smile formed on the tear-stained face of the woman. Her mouth forming the words _thank you, my son._ but never speaking them.

Severus waited the rest of the day at the edge of the street under an old piece of cardboard scanning the sky.

Night fell and a few hours later the bells of the church rang twelve times.

No owl flew by.

**Hello everyone, I hope you are all well.**

**Why did Severus not receive his letter? Well, I could tell you, but I do not want to spoil the fun.**

**About his wand, I did not find any information about its core from Rowling herself. I decided to chose dragon heart string because I think it has some connections to bravery. And English oak is because of the oak tree he practically lives in.**


	11. The next step

Disclaimer: still don't own anything.

Summary: Voldemort never dreams except when he dreams and does not remember. Moving on from a good nights rest, he takes the next step in his plans.

Warnings: Mentions of deaths and a bit of blood

Chapter 10: The next step

The dark Lord never dreamed.

Even when he had been a small child with the name of Tom Riddle back in the orphanage. He never had any dream at all.

However, this fact was about to change.

_Everything around him was cladded in darkness. Everything was... nothing. He couldn't even tell if he was standing or laying. Though when he lifted his foot and took a hesitant step his food touched something... or nothing, he really couldn't tell._

_He took another step, then another._

_And he walked._

_The temperature, that had felt like his own, became colder with each step and with each following step it became hotter too. He had to lift his hand to protect his eyes since the darkness had started to hurt just as though he was staring right into the sun._

"_My, my, you really seem to be lost, aren't you?"_

_A voice, not speaking but still echoing in the air, asked._

_Voldemort stopped. But oddly, while he had been walking he did not feel like he had been moving at all. But now, when he had stopped in his tracks, he suddenly knew he was moving through the darkness. He wanted to look around but his eyes were still blinded by the blackness around him._

"_Not greeting me, are you? I should have taught you some manners when we first met, shouldn't I?"_

_The non-voice mused._

"_Or should I say when we will meet for the first time?"_

_The speed with which he was now moving slightly ruffled his hair._

"_Who are you? Show yourself!", Voldemort demanded._

"_Well, my child, you do have forgotten me, don't you? Although you have killed me before, died, came back..."_

_The speed now became nauseating. He was moving, yes, but it seemed to be in all directions at once. The pressure cause by the speed now pressed on him, pinning him down on... nothing. "You are not real.", he hissed._

"_I am not, am I?", the non-voice laughed._

"_What do you want?", Voldemort hissed again. It became harder to speak._

"_What do I want? Well, why should I tell you that? It is much more interesting if you have to find it out on your own, isn't it?"_

"_Don't have time for that", the dark Lord pressed through gritted teeth._

"_Oh? Is that so? Well, in that case I might just show you something and take my leave."_

_And he was falling, spinning around himself and falling faster and faster. _

_The non-voice laughed and while he was descending to whatever there was down there (or up, or left, or right?) the non voice's laughter contorted into a high pitched, menacing cackle. A laughter just like his own._

_A flash of green light and suddenly he knew he was the one laughing._

_He stopped._

_Had he been the non-voice too?_

_Another flash of green light._

_And another._

_Another._

_The nothingness around him shone in the green flashes around him._

_Then a voice, barely even a whisper was heard. And he felt relieved knowing it was not him who was speaking._

"_No..."_

_A voice of a woman._

_Another voice, a male voice this time, paired itself in a strange duet with the female voice._

"_...inside..."_

"_No..."_

_The soft spoken words were barely audible at first but grew louder whilst he fell._

_Were they down there?_

"_No! Not... Please! Not him!... Me!"_

"_... Go inside.. take..."_

"_No!"_

"_Please"_

_Other voices joined the pair._

"_Where are we?..." the voice of a young man._

"_Who're u?, a drunken male voice._

"_Tom?", the voice of another woman._

"_I only served..."_

"_Protego!"_

"_Dont kill me!"_

"_No!"_

_More and more voices added to the chorus. More and more screams filled his ears. Those words, only whispers at first, now screamed at him._

"_DONT!"_

"_RUN!"_

"_I SWEAR I DONT KNOW MORE!"_

"_CALL THE POLICE!_

"_HELP ME!"_

"_PLEASE!"_

"_NOT HARRY!"_

_He couldn't move. He wanted to press both hands down on his ears. To shut the voices out. To stop this chorus of horror. But he couldn't. He could not move. Only fall. Those screams where the last words, the last pleas, of dying people. He recognised some. But most of them he did not know._

_In his desperation he opened his mouth to scream._

_And laughed instead._

_A high pitched, cruel laughter echoed, drowning all other screams around him. Until he heard another pair of voices._

"_EXPELLIARMUS" "AVADA KEDAVRA"_

_And a green light rising through the darkness. Rising through everything. Coming for him._

_In the instant the light was about to reach him, he knew that this was his own death. That he was just one of those many voices. There wasn't even time to scream. The light will hit him._

_But it did not._

_Red flames blocked the green death._

_They were... hot and cold at the same time. And strangely... pleasant._

_The voices were gone. And somehow he must have stopped to fall. The nothingness was still there but it had lost its eerie aura._

_Voldemort looked into the flames, he couldn't see past it, but somehow he knew there was someone inside. Another beating heart._

"_Because I want to", the non-voice softly echoed._

Voldemort woke up. He felt refreshed. He had slept well and for about five hours. More than he normally did, actually. Of course he had not dreamed. He never dreamed anything. Never.

He often only slept about three hours. That was a sufficient time to rest the body. He did not see any reason to waste more hours. Back at school, he did not understand why all the others had to waste their precious time snoring in their beds. The fact that he only needed about three hours gave him much more time to hone his skills and even underlined that he was much more superior compared to his classmates. He was convinced, he never needed more sleep since he did not waste time with dreaming stupid dreams. Dreams were for the weak. And he, Lord Voldemort was anything but weak.

He got up, took his clothes and went to the bathroom. Today was an important meeting with his _friends_. He had quite the impressive list of tasks for them. As well as a special gift for each one of them. But before that, he still had about three more hours.

XXX

"My Lord.", Lestrange bowed as deep as ever. Voldemort just nodded shortly.

"The knights of Walpurgis are all gathered.", he said humbly.

_Of course they are._ Voldemort thought. But didn't said anything and entered the dining hall of the Lestrange manor.

The room was dark and stifling hot. Six man sat at the long table. Six pairs of eyes were set upon him as he walked towards the seat at the head of the table. Lestrange sat himself at the empty seat to his right.

"Good morning, my friends. I hope you are all well." It was not a question. "I assume you all know why I have summoned you here?" Occasional nodding and murmurs of approval followed.

"As you all well know, today is the day we will finally start with our next step. Our next step to change the world to what it should be. Not only the wizarding world, but the world itself. A world, where wizards will stand at the top."

More murmurs of approval. Voldemort moved on.

"And therefore I have decided to end our little organisation which we call The Nights Of Walpurgis."

Silence. Voldemort took a moment to look into each face and savour the uncertainty of each individual. He knew they did not see this step coming. A smile crept upon his face as he started to speak again. This time in a much lower voice. He knew his _friends_ had to concentrate to catch every word of his.

"Yes. To end our little organisation and to start anew as a new organisation which will be known throughout the world. Loved and admired by all their supporters and feared by their enemies. For it shall feast upon their dead bodies to nourish its own strength and rise above all. Even the impossible: Death itself. From now on, our organisation will be called and known as Death Eaters."

The last words were barely even audible but he knew they all heard it. He continued in a normal tone and grinned as he watched the other men twitch at the sudden change of volume. "Therefore, I have decided on an identification mark that will show each of us our loyalty to the noble cause we are about to devote all our strength to."

He took out his wand and quickly drew a complicated gesture, stating in a clear voice: "Morsmordre ."

A skull made out of green steam formed above the table. Slightly glowing, the form solidified as it rotated slowly around its own axis. The spooky grinning teeth slowly opened and a thick tongue lazily rolled out of its mouth. It became thicker and longer, quivering unnatural. Two eyes opened at the top of the supposed tongue and the snake opened its mouth showing its deadly fangs. The snake curled and uncurled, always changing the direction it was about to strike to. The skull grinned with green glowing eyes.

"Incredible.", whispered Lestrange.

"Truly a piece of art.", stated Abraxas Malfoy.

"It sure is.", agreed Rosier.

Dolohov even leaned forward. His eyes reflecting the green light of the mark.

"Truly worthy to be the sign of our identification.", Avery said in a respectful tone.

Nott and Mulciber simply nodded but stared at the mark in awe as well as the others.

Voldemort just waited for another few moments to give them the opportunity to admire the mark even more. When he spoke again, all eyes were set upon him again.

"I call this mark you see here the Dark Mark. It will become one of our greatest weapons against our enemies."

"How can it be a weapon?", Dolohov asked puzzled. Nearly everyone held their breath. They knew that the Dark Lord never liked to be interrupted, but said Dark Lord only grinned. "You shall see, my dump friend.", he turned around and looked at Lestrange, ordering:" Show them your left arm."

Lestrange, who was the only one who had known about the Dark Mark before the meeting (although not about the name changes), obeyed immediately, rolled up the sleeve of his robe and presented his left arm.

The same skull with the same snake quivering from its mouth was on his arm. But only this time it did not shine in a green light. It was pitch black like burned flesh.

Voldemort did not wait for any of them to inspect it further as he started to talk again:" This mark is not only a symbol which can be casted in the sky to scare some Muggles or even the idiots from the ministry. It will be our tool of communication as well. Whoever I will grant this mark to, will form a kind of connection with me. Whenever I need to speak to you, you will know. Whenever you need to speak to me, I will know. You will know when I am angry, when I am nearby, when I am far away. I will always know if you are in danger."

"So... you will always know where we are and we will know where you are?" Again it was Dolohov asking the stupid questions for the rest of them.

"No.", Voldemort smiled,"No. I never said that, Dolohov. I will only know where you are if you want me to know it. It is the same the other way around too, of course. You don't have to fear I will interrupt your... privacy."

The others laughed just as expected and Dolohovs face became nearly the same red as his hair.

"Mulciber, Nott, Rosier and Avery. I am willing to grant you the privileges you will gain by wearing this mark.", he continued in a business-like tone.

Said person looked at him eagerly.

"What about me?", Dolohov asked irritated. Malfoy looked as though he had wanted to ask the same question but had been intelligent enough to let the dump one ask it for him.

"You?", Voldemort asked in a sceptical tone, "Oh my good, old friend Dolohov. You are not suited enough to carry such an important secret of ours right on your left arm where any Auror could find it. You sure understand that, don't you? It is out of my good will and thanks to our old friendship I even invited you here today." _And because I need an idiot whose desire to be acknowledged verifies carrying the mark as a privilege,_ he thought with glee.

"And what about him?", Dolohov gestured in the direction of Malfoy.

Voldemort looked at the silvery blond with a pensive expression. The other one stared right back, waiting for the answer of the Dark Lord. "Hm..., he is another case. Truth to be told. I do not trust you enough to wear it, Malfoy. I do have the feeling you work more for your own sake than for the sake of our future world."

Mulciber, who sat next to Malfoy leaned farer away from him as though his lack of loyalty was a contagious illness. _Perfect._

Malfoy cleared his throat nervously:" I assure you, my Lord. I am devoted to our cause entirely. Just give me an opportunity to prove my worth."

"To prove your worth?", the Dark Lord interrupted him, chuckling. "My friend, there is no need to proof your worth. You already did that when you killed Leach. There is need to prove your loyalty."

"I can do that, my Lord."

"And I am quite curious of your proof." Voldemort said, dismissing the topic with a wave of his hand. Malfoy was not dump enough to speak again. He will leave it to him to earn the right to wear the Dark Mark.

"Now then, who wants to be the first, or more like, the second...," he nodded appreciatively at Lestrange,"...to receive the Dark Mark? Rosier, maybe?"

Said person stood up, went to the Dark Lord and knelt down. The man with the red eyes took the man's exposed left arm in his own left hand. For a moment he held his wand slightly over the naked skin before he made a slashing gesture. The man twitched slightly because of the sudden pain the small gash on his arm was causing. The Dark Lord silently recited the incantation in his mind whilst the blood dropped down from the wound and onto the floor.

The man started to twitch more, a whimper escaped him. The blood was glowing in a wed red, and started to form the Dark Mark. For only a short moment a green flame rose from the man's arm and he screamed in agony. But as fast as the flames had come they were gone again, leaving a black skull and a quivering snake on the forearm of the kneeling man.

Four more kneeling man. Four more wounds. Four more flames. Four more screams and four more marks.

Malfoy and Dolohov watched the scene. The first one with a blank expressions, the latter with an expression of jealousy. They both knew they were not part of the group. And that was because the Dark Lord did not acknowledged them the same way he acknowledged the others.

After a lot of congratulating between the lucky ones receiving the Mark, everyone took their seats again. Voldemort was exhausted. Really, he shouldn't cast that incantation more than three times a day. It was exceptionally tiring. Well, he will finish the meeting and rest for now.

"My friends,", he began to speak again,"I congratulate you all on taking this step. I am sure we will accomplish all our goals. But for now, you should learn more about the benefits of the mark yourself and- of course- experience it. We will discuss everything else in seven days on January the 16th. Until then."

He got up and strolled out of the room, apparating as soon as he left the building. He had a lot of work to do before the next Saturday.

**This one was written fast. Its nice to finally have a few days off.**

**The next chapter should be finished next week too. **

**But a few things first.**

**I have written a small list of explanation to some things I think need a bit more information. Most of them are explanations of how I regard the characters in cannon and how this affects this story. Please take into account that this is only my interpretation and you don't need to share them. Although they could be useful to understand this story and further chapters better.**

**About the dream: it is not a normal dream and Voldemort does not remember it for a reason.**

**About the non-voice: I tried to give this character a special speech pattern because he might show up in some chapters in a different way. Since English is not my native language and I am mostly self taught, I am not sure I managed to deliver it as I hope I would. Still, I hope the character is recognizable.**

**About the cruelty Severus is experiencing: I am convinced he was physically and mentally abused as a child. A person who does not care even the slightest about how he looks and devotes his complete existence to one person is rather odd and unique. But also his uncertainty and the spidery movement described in the books as well as other details let me believe that. I think Lilly was the only person who had ever been nice to him without seeking a favour in return. She just liked him and he loved her for that. I try to build up the story from the canon universe and therefore try to build the same framework for each character. I do not want them to go completely out of character but the more time passes the more the characters will differ from their originals. (but don't worry, Severus will never start to sing love songs or throw around with candy. Although... maybe poisoned ones...)**

**About Severus' pouch: This one never existed in cannon. But actually it could have. I think it has a lot to do with the psyche of Severus' mother Eileen. She was abused by Tobias in cannon as well and Severus did look neglected in the books too. The fact that he looks even more neglected in this story is because he himself chose to not be dependent of his parents in order to get stronger. While he most likely wanted to win the love of his parents, especially Eileen, in cannon, he completely abandons them as his family in this story. This also leads to a different behaviour of Eileen. Young Severus desire to be loved made him inferior to her and she had power over him. She did not need to win his affection because she always had it, even if she helped Tobias abusing him (although she might only have stood next to him and did not intervene). But in this story, she clearly feels she has lost his affection and fears to lose him entirely. Tobias does not love her, her family has abandoned her and she does not want to lose the love of her son. That is why she gifted him with her most precious possession in this story. It was to tell him: look how much you are worth to me. It is the same case with the wand of her mother. Due to the abuse, she is not able to tell him that she is sorry and that she loves him. She is simply not strong enough to free herself from Tobias. And loving her son and wanting the best for him would mean to muster up enough courage to go this step.**

**About Severus character changes:**** I fear I let him grow up rather fast. But I have met a lot of people myself who came from such families and I have to admit, they do grow up much faster and don't experience a normal childhood. But not everything is as it seems. You might have noticed how he regards his mother and father. He often thinks of them as strangers (this man, this woman) and sometimes even as monsters (especially in his fathers case), but there are also moments he sees Eileen as his mother and has problems to not see Tobias as his father. He even corrects his thinking about him (father, man, monster). He is still a child wanting to be loved but the encounter with the Dark Lord changed his thinking about love. Only if you are strong enough you have the right to be loved and only the strong ones should have the right to love. It is a philosophy he is starting to develop more and more. While the desire to be loved and acknowledged drives the young Severus in cannon, it is the desire to become powerful that drives him now.**

**That's it for now. Hope it helped you a little bit. Please let me know what you think about my explanation corner. Do you think it was helpful or interesting or do you rather not have those to make your own interpretations?**


	12. Moving on

Disclaimer: still don't own anything.

Summary: Severus feels lost after he did not get his letter. He tries to figure out what to do in the future.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and drug abuse, mentions of death

Chapter 11: Moving on

One week has passed since Severus' birthday.

The boy had not been at his parents house, nor had he been at the old oak tree in the park by the lake. But apart from those places, he had been nearly everywhere in Cokeworth.

He had wandered through the shabby looking streets near the river and had followed the flowing water up to the old factory, which was the source of the ever present reeking odour of the water. He had passed the huge factory buildings with its smoking chimneys and had gone all the way up the hills to the better parts of the city. There he had taken a left at the newly opened mall and went down the small hill until he reached the train station from where he went into the direction of the park he was so used to live in, just to turn at the last corner before its entrance and wander down the shabby streets again.

By the end of the week, he had wandered this exact route twelve times, but still felt restless.

He did not know why he had the urge to keep moving, nor did he care.

He had to think and going forward was the only option that seemed... acceptable.

Why had he not been accepted into Hogwarts?

Why did he not get a letter?

Was it because his mother was so weak?

Was he to weak?

On his occasional breaks, he had reached into his pouch to retrieve any book that could give him answers to his many questions. Was it wrong, that the young wizards got their letters on their eleventh birthday? But after leafing through some books, he knew the letter should have been delivered last week. Were there any changes in recent history? He went through more books. No. Had there ever been a case when a young wizard had simply been forgotten? He literally scanned the pages. No, never.

So why did he not get a letter?

Why?

He really could not find an answer.

The only thing he could do was keep moving. He knew it made no sense in any logical way, but still, it was the only thing he could do. What else was there he could possibly do? How could he reach the school if he was not invited there? Could he learn magic by his own? He had a wand now. But no. Under-aged wizards were not allowed to do magic outside of school. If they found him – and Severus was sure they would- they would break his wand and might even throw him into Azkaban (he had recently read about this place).

Now what should he do?

He couldn't talk to Lilly, of course. She will go to Hogwarts while he will... not...

He couldn't think about it. This was so unnerving. All this time he had only thought of going to Hogwarts and becoming a strong wizard. Since the day he had met the man with the crimson eyes- a true wizard- he had seen his future clearly before him. And now... it was gone.

Nothing left...

He came to a halt on the seventh day at the shore of the reeking river right under a bridge. It was dark and damp and musty. The sun was setting and the last light of the day shone red on the river reflecting blood red bits of light on the dark stonewalls of the bridge.

Severus lay down and watched the glistening light slowly fading away, ready to let sleep take over his exhausted body like it had done the last few days. His stomach was aching of hunger. He took out a small vial with a pink liquid -his last one, he knew- and slowly drank it. It would calm his hunger at least for a few hours.

Soothing numbness took him slowly into a dreamless sleep, just like any night before.

Until...

"You are crying in your sleep again, boy."

Severus jerked up. Immediately awake and alert he scanned the darkness.

That had been the man with the red eyes, hadn't he?

But instead of red eyes, blue eyes greeted him and an old man smiled sadly at him.

"Good evening, my boy. I have seen you five days ago at the train station. Interesting, you have still enough tears to cry five days later."

Severus wiped his wet face. He really must have cried in his sleep. "What do you want?", he asked agitated. Seriously, what does the old Muggle want from him?

But said old Muggle simply chuckled and ruffled his grey dishevelled beard with his dirty hand.

"First of all, I want a good meal, a warm bed and maybe a nice book, although I doubt I get any of this. Nevertheless, thank you for asking. You might be the first one to ask me that since... well... I really can't tell since when. Would you like some bread and cheese?"

The old man sat down and held out a slice of bread and a piece of cheese to Severus. But the boy only stared.

"You don't talk much, my boy."

Severus huffed:" I am not a boy."

The man looked at him for nearly a minute before he answered in a serious tone:" No. You definitely are not. Otherwise you would not be here. Boys normally sleep in their beds and eat home cooked meals."

Severus stood up. He did not want to be pitied by this Muggle.

"Wait, young man."

But Severus did not turn around and started to walk away.

"I am sorry if my words had offended you in any way. You have to see it from my point of view. I don't have anyone to talk to. At least no one who is sober enough at this time, believe me, I know everyone around here who is sleeping rough. And I just..."

The man sighed:"... must look like a creep to you. I am sorry. I wont talk to you again."

Severus turned around and looked at the man:" I am not afraid of you. You are just an old geezer."

The man did not respond. Sighing Severus sat down in the grass again:" Ok, you give me that cheese and bread and I will listen to whatever is on your mind. Tomorrow we part ways and you wont talk to me ever again, understood?"

As an answer, the man gave him the food and smiled sadly. At the moment Severus held the bread and cheese in his hand, he could have sworn the man was a wizard too for he had never had food in his hand that smelled so delicious and looked so good. He began eating, or rather he wolfed it down immediately.

"You should slow down a bit otherwise you will feel even more hungry after eating.", the man advised with a chuckle.

Severus glared at him but still followed the man's advice.

"I am Theodore. What is your name?"

Since his mouth was full of cheese and bread he could only shake his head to indicate he was not willing to tell him.

"All right. I will call you little Crow then."

The disbelieving look on Severus face made the man grin wide.

"Well. You are all black, young man. And you wander around searching. If someone talks to you, you simply snap at them."

Severus gulped:" That's not what crows do."

"No. But you still remind me of them. So, why are you on the streets, little Crow?"

"None of your business."

"Hm... must be tough at home. But I get it, you don't want to talk about it. Do you want to know something about me?

"No."

The man sighed. He lay down and turned his back to Severus.

"Well, good night, little Crow."

Silence fell for about five minutes. Then the boy asked:" Why are you on the streets?"

"Because I killed my son and wife.", the man said gravely.

Severus looked up and studied the relaxed figure next to him. The man wore an old overgrown dark green coat and a matching dirt stained hat. His light blue trousers looked like they had been part of a suit and were torn on the knees. He had an old suitcase with him which looked like it had been expensive once. But the now broken lock was mended with a pair of laces. The boy spoke again:" There is more to this. Criminals normally end up in prison cells. So, enlighten me. What is your story?"

Theodore slowly sat up, breathing heavy. It took him a moment to speak again:"I had been in prison. But they let me out last year." He looked at the boy with a pensive thought, then, he started to talk again. "I had been a businessman. A very successful one. The money I made... lets say it was a lot. More than a single person should have, actually. And... well I felt invincible. I had a huge house, an expensive car, a good looking wife and a wonderful son. I even owned a boat and a small airplane. But I did not see what I had. I just saw what I did not have..."

He sighed and took a water bottle out of the inner pocket of his coat. After he drank a few gulps, he resumed his story:" I made a lot of deals. Always wanting to gain more and more money. I seldom saw my family since I often went on long business trips. Chicago, Tokyo, Paris, Berlin, Moscow, Hong Kong. I could count all days. There was no place on earth I hadn't visited back then. And after so many nights away from home and after so many offers from young sweet girls... I became unfaithful. It was not only that. I became another person. If you were told that you are somehow special, that you are superior to others. If you were told this over many years. You might be stupid enough to believe it. And believe me, young Crow, I was. Money was everything that ruled my world. Money was the only thing worth to me. If you had no money, you were powerless, worthless, weak. And I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be powerful. And I was willing to sacrifice a lot for this power."

Theodore went silent for a moment. Severus could not see him clearly in the darkness, but he heard the heavy breathing. He suddenly felt that this man had actually never spoken about what he was going to tell him. He felt a rush of sympathy for this man, although he did not understand why. Maybe it was because he himself had not anyone to talk to for the last seven days. This man probably had no one for years.

Theodore started to talk again. This time with a much more shaky voice:"There was a lot I did back then. Drugs, Alcohol... Drinking hard was considered to be strong. So I drank with my colleagues and my higher-ups. Taking fancy little pills that boosted your already to high confidence was compulsory. So I took the fancy pills. And after a while, it had become a habit. I always thought I had control over it. But one night... I was driving home. I had not been there for at least a month. I had bought a new football for my son. He had turned elven and he always had loved football. It was dark and I might have drove too fast and I might not have realised it because I had some drinks and some fancy pills. Just to feel good, you know. But when I drove around a corner... I... it was so dark, I couldn't see them and... and I don't even know why they had been out at this hour... and I..."

The words lost itself in the heartbroken sobs of the man.

Severus just sat there. He did not know what to say or do, although he wanted to help the man to ease his pain. What had his mother done when he had cried? She had hugged him, yes, but this was a grown man, not a child of four or five.

A grown man should not cry.

A grown man, who was crying because he had lost his wife and son.

Severus looked at the water.

Tobias would not cry if he and his mother died. Hell, his mother would not cry if he died.

And suddenly, he felt tears on his own cheek. But not because he knew his parents would not care about his death.

It was because he knew Lilly would cry.

He sat next to the crying man, quietly sobbing.

XXXX

The next morning Theodore was gone.

Severus cursed. He could not even tell, when he had fallen asleep. Looking around, he found a slice of bread and a piece of cheese wrapped up in a sheet of paper. He unfolded it and started to eat. Only when he had finished his breakfast, he realised the scrawly handwriting on the paper.

_Dear little Crow,_

_I thank you for listening to me. And I thank you even more for your condolence. I never believed someone would even shed one tear for my child and wife apart from myself. Sometimes words are not what we need in our life. _

_My wife's name was Mary and my sons name was Leon._

_They meant the world to me._

_And when I saw you lying there on the ground, I could not pass by. It was not pity that let me stop, it was grief. Grief about my loss as well as yours. Although I do not know your story, I could see it in you._

_I may be old and I might have learned a lot about the cruelty of life but believe me this, young crow: Life can be cruel even without us doing anything wrong. But if you keep on fighting for a better life, you will surely earn it. This is not the place were you belong to. so please, move forward, and I am sure you will find a person in your life, who is willing to share your grief but also your happiness._

_Take care._

_Theodore_

Severus stood up and moved away from the river. He walked along the streets passing by the old industry building and went up the hills through the streets with those rich houses and laughing children. He did not even look at the mall nor at the train station he passed a few hours later. But when he finally reached the street leading to the park with the old oak tree, he looked up. This time he did not take the last street before the park. And when he finally reached the tree – the place he most likely felt at home, or at least at peace- the sun shone already in a deep red, illuminating not only the old tree, which was greeting him with his ruffling leaves, but also illuminating a small girl waiting there.

"Severus!"

The girl ran to him and hugged him so tight that he nearly fell over. He felt so overwhelmed that he did not move or said anything. He had not expected to meet her here right now.

"Sev... I am so glad... I thought you were... Where were you?"

He slowly hugged her back, answering calmly:" I have been lost. But I am back. Don't worry."

She lifted her head and looked up at him. Over the last years, he had grown much faster than her and was now about a head taller. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks glistened wet, but the expression on her face was reflecting her happiness. She had been crying, Severus knew, she had been crying because he was away and now that he was back, she had no reason to cry.

He slowly lifted his hand and wiped away the wetness on her face. His heart felt strangely heavy. He would not be the cause of any of her tears ever again. He will be strong enough. No matter what.

"Sev?", Lilly looked at him with a puzzled expression.

He smiled calmly. The moment which had been so emotional just a second ago now felt a little awkward. He let go of her and slowly walked to the tree. Spotting Lilly's picnic basket, he sat down next to it. Lilly immediately started to retrieve two mugs and a thermos as well as two huge sandwiches. Severus chuckled while he took the offered sandwich.

"What's so funny Sev?"

"Nothing. I am just glad. That's all." He knew she had been waiting here every day for him with a picnic basket. She had known.. no, rather trusted him to come back. Again he felt this tenderness around his heart.

"Thank you, Lilly."

She gave him a hot cup of peppermint tee and smiled.

They sat there for about fifteen minutes, eating and enjoying the presence of the other. Severus knew he had to tell her about the letter, or rather its absence. With a sigh, he looked at her, catching her gaze immediately.

"Lilly, I need to tell you something. It is about the letter. The invitation to Hogwarts. I did not receive it."

Lilly looked at him, silently sipping her tea, not in the least perturbed. Severus just stared at her, finally asking:"You do know what it means, Lilly? I wont go to Hogwarts with you."

And Lilly smiled.

"What is so funny about that?", Severus huffed angrily. But Lilly's smile only became wider. Was she really mocking him? Lilly, of all people!? He got up and went around the tree. He did not want to talk to her about it. Just when he reached the entrance of the cap in the old tree, he heard her laughter. What the hell was wrong with her? He felt betrayed.

"Coo?"

What?

In the entrance of the gap sat a small owl. Its huge eyes were fixed upon Severus face. It turned its head slowly to the right and then to its left, cautiously inspecting him. Severus stared back in disbelief.

The small owl hopped out of the trunk and onto the grass before the boys feet. Its feathers were ruffled and it looked as though it had been waiting here for a while now. Again it stared at Severus, waiting. Severus only stared back. As to indicate what he should do the owl lifted its leg. A letter was strapped on it. Severus knelt down and took the letter with shaking hands. Right in the moment the bird was freed from it, it took off, ascending into the night.

"It had been waiting here for you since last Saturday. It did not let me touch it."

He turned around and looked at her. The girl smiled and held out a wrapped package to him: "Happy birthday, Sev."

XXX

_Mr. S. Snape_

_The old oak tree in the local park_

_Cokeworth_

_Leicestershire_

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

_Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (a real big boss in the wizardry world)_

_Dear Mr. Snape,_

_I am pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwars School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. _

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

_Headmaster_

"Sev? How many times do you want to read that letter again?"

"About a hundred more, I think."

A thrown pillow landing on his face was the answer he got.

"Let us sleep. I am really tired now. Please, turn off the light."

Lilly turned around in her bed. Severus stood up to turn off the light.

Earlier that evening Lilly had taken him to her family. Her father and mother had greeted him like an old friend. While Lilly and her mother were in the kitchen, her father showed him to the bathroom, where he had showered and dressed in the new clothes his friend had given him for his birthday: a new blue jeans, a dark grey hoodie and a black jacket as well as new socks and shoes. He did not remember when he last had fitting clothes. It felt damn good. And when he had returned to the living room, he could already smell roasted meat.

This evening turned out to be one of the best days in his life so far. Lilly's mother had made a delicious roast with boiled potatoes and steamed carrots. But it was the moment they brought out a chocolate cake with a burning candle on it, when he really had to fight back his emotions.

Lilly's family was full of love and kindness. Well, apart from her sister Petunia, but she was at her friends house and therefore could not poison the atmosphere.

Severus lay awake for another hour, dwelling in the happiness he felt. He lay on a bed (Petunias bed, actually), he had his stomach full of meat and cake, he had his letter and the best friend in the world. He could not believe he had been lying at a disgusting river under a musty bridge solemnly crying by the side of a stranger only twenty-four hours earlier.

He turned around and closed his eyes, wondering what the next day will bring to him.

Life sure was full of surprises. Good as well as bad.

**Bold talk starting in 3...2...1...**

**All right, whoever made it through to this part: welcome and congratulation, take a piece of the chocolate cake leftovers!**

**I am happy I could finish this one this week. I was so happy to have two free weeks and my body is like: hey, perfect timing to get sick (not Corona, got tested). It will take me a while to upload the next one since I have some exams in three weeks and I cant learn as efficient as I normally would.**

**But enough rambling. I have one important topic: Lilly and Severus.**

**I already wrote in the previous chapter: this story will be build up from cannon. And Severus loved Lilly in cannon. There is another important reason. But I wont tell it now. For all who don't like it, I am sorry, but it is an important part of the story. But don't worry. It will develop into a Voldy/Severus relationship. Since the story will be very long, it will take some time.**


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